Toshiko Sato
by ladyjane6313
Summary: Toshiko Sato is a real woman, but there is one man who doesn't see her like that until he has an accident, and loses his memory.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Toshiko had always been a smart person, intelligent with brilliance beyond belief when it came to technology. Where Tosh failed in was her personal life. She tended to make ill conceived choices of partners and crushes. At this moment, Toshiko Sato had been in love with Dr Owen Harper for 3 years, 4 months, 29 days and 4 hours. She had managed to keep her feelings for Owen secret the entire time, and he didn't really know she existed. Oh he spoke to her, discussed work problems, and they covered for each other when they needed to at work, but when it came down to it, Owen Harper had no idea that Toshiko was a living, breathing, beautiful woman. All he could see was a computer geek, someone he worked with and tolerated.

Tosh had no idea why she liked Owen so much, but the feelings were there and weren't going away anytime soon.

"Morning Owen," called Tosh, from her desk, as Owen entered the Hub one morning.

"Hmm...yeah," replied Owen distractedly, not even looking up to acknowledge who had called the greeting.

Toshiko sighed inwardly. She knew that the feelings she kept so tightly locked away would always be around, but she knew of no way to change Owen's blatant disinterest in her, or quench the feelings that, sometimes, threatened to burst free.

The day progressed and Owen grew even more distracted. He could have had something important on his mind, but Toshiko didn't believe so. She knew that deep down Owen had an abundance of feelings ready to unleash on that one special person, but had no idea when it would happen, or even if she would ever be that lucky person.

Owen & Jack were called out later that day, on a police call about a couple of Hoix fighting over an animal carcass. The mission should have been routine but one of the Hoix cornered Owen, and Owen being Owen, he didn't throw the food in his hand away fast enough to suit the Hoix, which smashed Owen's head against a brick wall before Jack could capture the creature and contain it.

When Jack checked Owen's prone body, his eyes were closed and there was blood everywhere, most of it surrounding Owen's unconscious head. Jack placed a call to Ianto to come deal with the creatures while Jack transported Owen to the local hospital. After being cleaned up, Owen remained unconscious and was placed in a side ward away from other patients and nosy staff. For days he stayed in the hospital, in a coma-like state. The doctors explained that due to the blood loss caused by a large, yet shallow cut to the back of his head, and some concussion, Owen's brain had shut down so that it could repair itself. They had inserted a tube in his throat to ensure that his brain didn't need to think about remembering to breathe while it was dealing with his other injuries.

It was decided that while he continued to survive in his coma, one member of the Torchwood team would sit at Owen's bedside at all times. Ianto was requested to devise a rota system so that the Hub and the hospital room were always covered. Tosh was worried about Owen's lack of progress. All the members of Torchwood were worried, but the whole event affected Toshiko more so because of her feelings. After several days with no sign of any change in Owen's condition, Toshiko persuaded Ianto to put her on the hospital rota as often as possible without affecting her duties at the Torchwood.

Ten days into the hospital rota system, Jack noticed that Tosh's name appeared on the list more than anyone else's. He had a quiet word with Ianto just to check things were okay.

"Hey. Does Toshiko's name appear on the hospital rota more than anyone else because all the names drawn out of the hat were hers, or did she speak to you about her staying by his side?"

Ianto gave Jack a sardonic look and said, "She asked if she could be with him as often as possible, as long as it didn't interfere with things here. I found a way for her to do both, and get some sleep too!" Ianto sighed at Jack's usual perceptiveness, giving him the facts.

"It's her choice Jack. We all know that she's in love with him. There's only him that doesn't seem to notice it, but it seems that his hospitalisation has massively worried her. She's really concerned that he won't wake up. So am I, for that matter!"

"Ianto it takes as long as it takes. Only Owen can wake up when he's ready. You know what the Doctors said. He's healing and he has good brain wave activity, but he just isn't ready yet."

"Just between the two of us, I don't think Tosh can take much more of this kind of schedule. You said you scheduled her to get some sleep, but she looks like she's only getting time 3 or 4 hours a night. You must have seen the bags under her eyes! I think she's near breaking point, with work, and her near constant vigil. Why didn't you tell me earlier what she'd asked of you?" questioned Jack abruptly.

"I didn't think she wanted to advertise the fact that she wanted to spend some time keeping watch over Owen. She asked me in secret. I thought she was coping."

"Maybe she is, but taking a look at some of the work she's done in the last day or two and those eye-bags, she needs to go home. If she stays any longer, and we get a call out to a rift alert she could put someone in danger. That someone could be herself, Gwen, or even you. She'd never forgive herself if she got one of you injured because she was tired!"

"I'm sorry, Jack. I should have paid more attention, kept more of an eye of her."

"It's okay, but when she gets in, tell her that I said she has to take time off until Owen is back on his feet. And tell her if she makes any fuss, then I'll make it an order."

Jack didn't wait for Ianto to respond, he just turned and made his way back to his office. Behind Jack's back Ianto smiled gently, pleased that for once Jack had been keeping an eye on his staff.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Toshiko walked unsteadily through the Cog door that morning, 30 minutes before Gwen. She sat at her desk and was about to turn on her computer when she heard someone walk up behind her. She stopped what she was doing and looked up to see who it was. Ianto stood there with his hands behind his back. He smiled gently and said, "Jack said you're to take time off. And before you say anything about needing to be here, we can cope without you for a while. You need some time to look after yourself and get some rest, and it means that you can spend more time watching over Owen. So go, now, before Gwen gets here and hounds you about leaving."

Toshiko was so tired that she nearly wept with gratitude. She gave him a watery smile and turned to leave. Before she walked through the Cog door she turned around sharply and walked quickly back to Ianto's side. She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, whispering quietly, so that only Ianto could hear, "Thank you," and with that she disentangled herself from her friend and hurriedly walked off to the underground lair, where her car was parked.

The first thing Tosh did was drive home, crawl back into bed and fall asleep. She had been working and worrying hard, trying to figure out rift calculations and the origins of some artefacts, while hopelessly praying that Owen would open his eyes and say something to her, while she visited at the hospital; even if he told her to leave the room. She was almost beyond breaking point.

She slept for nine whole hours. Once she woke up she checked the time, grabbed a hot shower and something to eat. She wasn't due to be at the hospital until half past five so she had some time to herself. She decided that she'd do some house work, as she never normally got round to doing that kind of stuff, and then she would drive to the hospital and spend the evening at Owen's bed side. Just thinking about her plans for the evening made her sad. This was the first time that she had ever seen Owen look helpless. In his unconscious state he looked younger, softer and more vulnerable. She liked to look at him when he didn't realise there was anyone watching him. He had this cute way of concentrating. He tended to stick his tongue between his lips, just a bit and rub it gently along his upper lip. Owen only did that when he was working on something particularly hard.

Toshiko spent the rest of the afternoon replaying events between herself and Owen, from over the years while she autonomously and systematically cleaned her apartment from top to bottom. She made herself a chicken sandwich and then readied herself for an evening at the hospital. She checked all the items in her bag, making sure that she had her current reading material, and a medical text that she could read to Owen. The doctors had said that even though he was unconscious he was able to hear, and hearing a familiar voice could bring him out of his unconscious state sooner. So Toshiko had taken to reading to him whenever she was at his bedside, regardless of whether it was her romantic novels, (which she quietly indulged in, nightly) or the latest story in the Sun newspaper.

Toshiko was constantly hoping that he would move a finger, or his eyelids would flutter, but even that hadn't happened so far. The doctors were at a loss as to why he wasn't awake, but they said he was stable and there shouldn't be any lasting damage.

Tosh arrived at the hospital and made her way up to Owen's side ward room. As Tosh had been there so often she was greeted by name, by a couple of the nurses. Tosh entered Owen's room and took her coat off, laying it on the stand behind the door. She pulled up her usual chair and sat at the head of Owen's bed. She took a few deep breaths and hesitantly picked up Owen's hand in her own. She had never done this before while he had been in the coma, but as she had been speaking to him alone since his accident, she thought she was allowed the privilege. She didn't know what the others did when they kept Owen company, but she felt that, if she did this then at least she was getting some benefit out of it.

She laced her fingers with his unresponsive ones and sat there for a few minutes. She was deep in thought thinking of what she should say, so she started with how she had spent her day.

"Ianto sent me home today. Well...I think Jack had something to do with it. I think he told Ianto to give me time off to sleep, though I was doing fine! I...I'm really worried about you Owen." After a few minutes of silence she spoke again, directing her speech to the hand she was holding. She didn't know what had prompted her to talk about this, but she knew that if she didn't do it now then she was never likely to ever talk about it again. And it's not as if he would remember, right?

"I think it's time that I told you something. I know that you're unconscious, and at least if you're like this then you'll never remember what I say, so neither of us will get embarrassed. If you do happen to remember what I'm about to tell you, then I guess I'll have to leave Torchwood, because it will ruin whatever relationship we had."

She gathered her thoughts and started at the beginning, when Owen first joined Torchwood. How she had fallen in love with him and how she had began to realise that, although he was a womaniser, she knew that he had feelings, but that he was unlikely to ever return the affection she had for him. She told him all her thoughts on things she had noticed about him, his likes and dislikes. His body language and the way he tilted his head when Jack was talking to him about something he wasn't really interested in.

She talked for a long while, and when she had nothing more to say, she just sat and watched his chest rise and fall with the help of the respirator.

Toshiko opened her eyes, several hours later, to find that she was still holding Owen's hand. She must have been more tired than she thought, because she had been woken from her light slumber by someone tightening their hold on her hand. Tosh was a little disorientated and shocked at seeing her fingers intertwined with Owen's that she tried to free her hand from his grasp. As she attempted to extricate her fingers the grasp on her hand tightened. Tosh sat still, shocked. Several seconds passed before it dawned on her that it had been Owen's hand that was grasping hers quite tightly, and this was the first response anyone had had from him in what seemed like months, and was in fact days. She moved her gaze from their hands, moving it swiftly to his face and was entranced by a pair of beautiful green eyes staring back at her, fear and panic clouding them. She looked down at her hand again. She let out a squeal of joy and jumped up out of her seat, almost taking Owen's shoulder out of its socket.

"Owen you're awake," she cried, rather loudly. His other hand was starting to move towards his face, and shoulder, trying to simultaneously remove the tube helping him to breathe and stop the pain in the shoulder she had accidently hurt. Toshiko realised how hard she was pulling on his arm, so she released it and reached for his other hand to stop him from pulling the tube out himself.

"No! Calm down, I need to get a nurse and we'll get the tube removed." Tosh pressed the call alarm for the nurses' station and two nurses ran to the room to find their patient awake and struggling against the equipment.

"Sir if you'll just calm down, we'll have this out in a minute."

After some horrible noises and a bit of time to clear him up, Owen was breathing on his own. What amazed Tosh even more was the fact that sometime during the procedure with the nurses, Owen had grabbed hold of her hand again.

A thought dashed through her mind about ringing Jack and letting him know that Owen was awake, but she wanted Owen to herself for just a few minutes. On the back of the first thought came another - she had said a lot of intimate things to Owen a few hours ago. Did he remember any of them?

She needed to find out as soon as possible, or their situation could become very awkward, very quickly. When the nurses left the room Toshiko broached the question.

"Owen I realise that you can't speak right now, but I need to ask you a question and I need you to answer me honestly. Okay? Just nod you're head once for yes and twice for no." Tosh spoke nervously.

Owen nodded his head once.

"Okay. Do you remember someone talking to you while you were unconscious?"

Owen hesitated for several seconds, obviously thinking back to what he remembered, and nodded his head once again.

"Okay, can you remember specifically who that person was?" Tosh's tone was soft yet urgent.

Owen nodded his head once and pointed his right arm at Toshiko.

Tosh lowered her head in shame and embarrassment. She knew that she should never have said anything to him. It could only have led to trouble, but now that she had said something, things were going to get uncomfortable, so although she loathed leaving him alone, she did the only thing she could think of for the situation.

"R-Right," she stuttered, "I'm going to ring Jack and get him to come and stay with you. When I've made the call, I'm just going to go home. The nurses will keep an eye on you until Jack gets here." That should solve any problems Owen might have with what she'd had to say about him.

Owen shook his head from side to side vigorously, with such force that he could have given himself whiplash.

Tosh was a little shocked. "You want me to go?" Owen controlled his head movements this time and nodded twice like she had asked earlier.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" asked Tosh pointedly. Owen's head nodded once.

"Oooo-Kay!" Tosh drew out, trying to think of something to say, as this felt like a one way conversation.

"I'm going to ring Jack. Let him know that you're awake and then I'll come straight back, okay?"

Owen nodded once. Tosh left the room to call Jack.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He lay in a bed, not a very comfortable one, but he was pretty sure the bed was in a hospital, due to the smell. A strangely unique aroma of disinfectant, vomit, blood and death. He wasn't quite sure how he knew where he was, but he was positive about his location. His head pounded a little, oddly moving, though he could feel his head securely embedded in a pillow, and his left shoulder throbbed in time with his heart beat. He felt as if he'd gone several rounds with a large bear, or truck. That whole thought took a split second. In the next second he started choking on the long plastic tube stuck down his throat.

He started struggling to breathe, moving arms that were filled with lead heavily towards his face in an attempt to help him breathe easier. He opened his eyes, a reflex mechanism, which were wide filled with panic. He felt two hands over his moving ones stopping them from their progress to his mouth, and in the distance he heard the voice of an angel speaking to him.

"No! Calm down, I need to get a nurse and we'll get the tube removed."

He tried to focus on the face looming over his own, but all he could see was a blurred face with dark hair framing it. On hearing the woman's voice he knew that he had heard her speak to him before. The woman had a elegant voice. In the distant regions of his brain, he knew that she was very familiar to him. One thing he knew, just by looking at her was that she had been the woman speaking to him while he had been asleep. He vividly remembered her voice, quiet, soft and gentle speaking about various things he couldn't remember. He thought that she might have read things to him, but he couldn't have told anyone what they were.

The woman had called him by a name. Owen. That might be his name. He was having trouble remembering anything, though maybe that was due to the throbbing mass he felt at the back of his head. He felt a little panicked at the fact that he could not remember any aspect of his life. The weird thing was he knew from the decor he could see above him that he was in a hospital, just not where the hospital was, or why he was there. He knew the basic stuff, just not the specific things in relation to his life.

As he panicked, his breathing increased causing pains to shoot from his head down his throat, and into his chest. Just as he moved to remove the tubes again, his angel arrived hot on the heels of some stout nurses to help remove the tube that had been helping him breath. Owen would have to wait to get any answers about himself until he could talk.

A few minutes later the tube was removed and Owen was successfully able to cough and splutter under his own steam.

The angel had returned to her place at his side, were he'd slipping her hand in his own, taking comfort. Her hand felt soft and warm in his time of need. He was advised, by the nurses, not to try and talk for the next 24 hours, but was given a pad and pencil to write things down.

It was strange, but no one seemed to realise that he didn't know who, where or when he was.

Once he'd been made comfortable, propped up in his bed, Owen started to write out a list of questions for his angel. Obviously she knew who he was, she would, no doubt, be able to fill in the information that he didn't remember.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Tosh wasn't quite sure what to say to Owen now that he was awake. Part of the problem was that he could only listen to her, but had no way of responding, other than the writing pad and pencil, which he was busy scribbling away on. She was also still a bit embarrassed about what she had said to him, when she thought him in a coma, not just unconscious. She wasn't sure how he was taking the news.

"How are you feeling?" What a stupid question, thought Tosh, how would she be feeling if she had just woken up from unconsciousness and had a colleague peering and leaning over her.

Owen formulated his answer for a minute, his brow furled as he concentrated, then he wrote on a page of his pad.

_Physically I feel ok. Bit of a headache. I have a question for you..._

_Who are you?_

As Toshiko read the message her mouth dropped open, "Is this some kind of joke Owen?"

_So that IS my name. No one has asked me yet if I remember who I am. I have no memory of who I am, what I do or who you and this 'Jack' are._

Tosh read his second message.

"Oh Owen," said Toshiko sympathetically, "yes. That _is_ your name. You work with me, we're...colleagues. Jack is our boss, Captain Jack Harkness. We work with two other people, Gwen Cooper – who used to be a police officer; and Ianto Jones – who works in our tourist office and makes excellent coffee, though he does more than that. Is any of this sounding familiar?"

Owen shook his head and wrote:

_I'm sorry none of it rings a bell. All I know is that I feel as if I know you. Something about your voice is familiar. Would it be ok if you stayed with me, just until some of my memories return? I don't even know where I live!_

This was something that Tosh had dreamed Owen would say to her one day, but the triumph was bittersweet.

The problem with Owen's memory could lend a solution to all of the Hub's problems, thought Tosh, then she chided herself at the harsh thought. Maybe, thought Tosh, she could show Owen what she was really like, as a person, and not just a computer geek, and get him to be nice to, not only her, but the rest of the team. Although she knew her thoughts were horrible, considering all that Owen had been through, she held a little spark of hope that this would be a good learning experience for him. To learn new things, to his amnesia-ridden brain, about where he worked and gain a different perspective on the world, other than the cynical one he'd had before his accident.

"Owen, of course I'll stay with you. I'm your friend. I'd never abandon you. I'm going to go speak to the nurses about your memory. They should get a doctor to examine you, but I'll be with you for as long as you want me to. Then I'm going to contact Jack again and just update him on the situation. Alright?"

Toshiko waited patiently while Owen wrote his response.

_Yes. That's great. Thank you._

It took a while for the Doctors and Nurses to finish their examination of Owen. While they took him down to the Magnetic Resonance Imaging room, to check there was no severe swelling in his brain, Tosh rang Jack.

"Hey Tosh, how are things going at the hospital?"

"He doesn't remember anything Jack. He has amnesia! He must have lost his memory when he hit his head. The nurses speculate that that was the reason why it took him so long to regain consciousness. He has no idea what the date is, where he is – other than he's in a hospital – nothing at all! I've tried, a little, to jog his memory, but so far there hasn't been anything _to_ jog."

"Okay Tosh. Stay with him for now. Clearly he's comfortable with you being with him at the moment, as you've been there since he woke up. There isn't really a lot we can do at this end, but when the hospital chooses to release him we'll come and pick him up and help you get him settled at his flat. I don't think it would be a good idea to bring him to Torchwood any time soon. It's a bit of a shock to the system, so we'll ease into that, unless he remembers first. That okay with you?"

"Yes Jack that should be okay, as long as you're okay with me taking time off to keep an eye on Owen?" Tosh looked hopefully up towards the sky as she spoke.

"Whatever it takes to get Owen back on board again Tosh," and with that Jack signed off.

Tosh made her way back into the hospital and up the elevator to Owen's floor. When she stepped through the door she found Owen still sat upright in his bed, reading through one of the books she had brought to keep her occupied. As she took a step into the room Owen lifted his head and his eyes met hers. He placed the book on his lap, facedown, and used his hands to beckon her into the chair next to his bed. Tosh was hesitant at first, but then she moved to take up her place in the chair. Owen smiled and quickly scribbled on his pad.

_Would you read this to me? I like the sound of your voice. I'll return the favour when I can speak again. Though I don't know what my voice sounds like, so it might not be worth it._

Tosh laughed softly at his note and took the book that Owen offered to her. She asked him where she should start from and he pointed to a paragraph. Once Toshiko started to read the book, sentence after sentence, Owen settled himself down deeper into the pillows at his back, and felt comfortable enough to close his eyes, just listening to this one person speak the words of a long lost master of words.

Suddenly Owen jumped, startled. He must have fallen asleep, but he had no recollection of actually doing so. He looked around and spotted Toshiko in her usual chair, she also appeared to be sleeping. Looking at the sunlight blazing through the window, Owen saw that he had slept the night away, as had Tosh, at his bedside, not even realising.

Now he was assured that she was still with him and hadn't left him alone, even though she had promised she would stay, Owen tried to recall exactly what had woken him.

He didn't know how he knew, but he was sure that he had not been woken by any noise or nurse poking around his vital signs. He thought that it might have been a dream. The more he tried to think back the more he was sure that it was a dream. There had been a large dinosaur with wings; cold steel metal guns; sex, lots of sex. He'd seen Tosh's face mingling and merging with the faces of other people. Another woman, two men, one with an American accent, but he didn't know them, at least he didn't think he did.

His dream was fragmented by what he thought were different events happening at different times, but as he couldn't recall most of the dream, he couldn't be sure. The last part of the dream, the bit that had most likely woken him, was himself looking up into the sky as people around him died, dropped dead, by a mystical giant that created death in its path. As the monster crashed its way towards him he had shouted, and that must have woken him.

Owen had no idea where he had gotten some of those dreams from, but he was an intelligent man, even if he couldn't remember it yet. While Toshiko slept soundly Owen ran through, in his head, the parts of the dream that he had had and he realised that they had to have come from his blocked memories. He needed his friend to wake up so that he could ask her where they worked, but he didn't think that a doctor ran round with a gun in his hand and giant monsters on the loose.

Well, at least some memory was moving to the surface. He was a doctor, his mind had let given him something. He thought that he'd rested his voice enough, so he tried to say a couple of words. Questioning Toshiko would be a lot easier and quicker if he could speak to her instead of having to write everything down. It was sore, but he was able to talk and be understood.

He waited a good hour before he gave in, and gently prodded Toshiko in the arm, attempting to force her from her slumber. When that didn't work he tried to call her name, which came out as a hoarse whisper, which still didn't make her stir. He had an instant of guilt pass through him before he poked her quite hard in the ribs. At this, Tosh sprang up out of her chair and moaned in startled discomfort. Owen winced at the sound.

He placed his hand on her arm to calm her. She blinked and finally her eyes cleared to show that she was awake.

"What? What's going on? Are you in pain? Has something happened?" said a worried Tosh hurriedly, standing over Owen in the bed and patting his arms quickly.

Owen shook his head quickly, "I need to talk to you," he croaked.

"And it couldn't wait until I woke up without being poked in the ribs?" questioned Tosh snappishly.

Owen shook his head again.

"You're the only one who has any of the answers I need."

"What do you mean?" asked Tosh.

Owen proceeded to tell Tosh about the bits of the dream he remembered. Once he had finished he looked at Tosh who smiled.

"So you're remembering something. That's good. Okay, before I start to explain some of the things from your dream I need you to understand that some of the things I tell you about might be a bit hard to hear. You're really going to have to open your mind up to the possibility of what I say. Do you think you can do that?"

After some thought Owen decided that some of the things he had witnessed in his dreams could be more than just a dream, so he was willing to believe whatever Tosh said. Owen nodded his head again in Tosh's direction, to indicate that she should go ahead with what she had to say.

Toshiko went slowly. She started with the name of the organisation that they worked for. She explained what Torchwood did, that there was a rift through the centre of Cardiff city centre and they monitored what came through it. She mentioned briefly about Weevils and then went on to give details about Owen's role within the facility. Owen did not interrupt her.

Tosh hesitated a little before she launched into an explanation of some of the events Owen had seen in his dream. Abbadon and Bilis Manger. She also told him more about his co-workers. Tosh did not mention anything about the type of person Owen was at work, or any of the specific events that had happened to him throughout his career at Torchwood.

When Tosh finished, some 45 minutes later, Owen was speechless. He really didn't know what to say. What Tosh had told him seemed like something out of a fiction novel. Even though he had promised himself that he would believe whatever Tosh told him, it was hard to wrap his mind around all the information she had just given him.

Toshiko took a few minutes to rest her voice, waiting for Owen's reaction to her information. When no reaction was forthcoming she quickly excused herself to get a drink, giving Owen more time to digest what he had heard. On her return Owen was in the exact same position as he had been when she had left. She acknowledged that the things she had told him were mind blowing and some people were just unable to handle the idea that aliens and alternate universes existed. She didn't know how Owen had come to join Torchwood, but she knew that he was able to take what she said and reason out that at least some of it could be possible.

Tosh sat in her chair in silence for 20 minutes before Owen even attempted to move from his position in the bed.

"Are you okay?" asked Tosh quietly, slightly concerned by his continued silence.

Owen blinked, then turned to look at her.

"Yes. Unbelievable! No one would believe any of the things you've told me about. And I actually work there, with an American, a guy who serves coffee and an ex-police officer? Unreal! You're sure this isn't a television show or something?"

"Yes I'm sure. We do really well as a team. We all have our different areas of expertise. Gwen deals with all the human relations issues. You deal with the medical ones. I handle the electronic gadgets and alien signals. Ianto helps me out with some of the electronics, and his knowledge of the city is second to none. Finally there's Jack, who pretty much knows everything there is to know about everything."

Tosh didn't think it was a good idea to tell Owen that Jack was a) from the 51st Century, and b) that he was immortal. That would all come when he had his memory back.

"But primarily I'm a Doctor? What about us? Are we friends?" Owen asked.

Tosh was a little disturbed by the question, but obviously Owen was curious about her.

"We're more colleagues than friends," answered Tosh, but she couldn't look at Owen as she answered, that way she didn't feel as guilty by not saying more. This didn't stop Owen from asking questions.

"How come you class us as 'colleagues', like that? From what I've heard, listening to the nurses gossip, you've been sitting by my bedside almost the entire time I've been a resident at the hospital. If we're just colleagues then why would you do something like that?"

Tosh couldn't think of an answer to lead him away from this subject so she just said, "Okay, so we're more than colleagues, we're more like friends."

"Why do I get the feeling that there is more to that answer than you're letting on?" said Owen persistently.

"Clearly you're brain hasn't sorted itself out yet, because it's trying to find hidden meaning behind my words that aren't there."

"Fine...so when do I get to meet the rest of 'Torchwood'?" steered Owen, clearly sensing that this line of conversation was making his only friend uncomfortable. He would get her to talk more about it later.

"I spoke to Jack and he said that as long as the doctors are happy that you're recovering well, and see fit to discharge you, he will come and pick you up and take you home to get settled and rest. I don't know when you'll be allowed to go back to work, but I think it won't be until you get your memory back."

"And if I don't get my memory back?"

"Then... we'll figure something out." Toshiko was feeling just as out of sorts with this thread of conversation as with the previous one.

"Okay. Well I hope they discharge me soon, because I have a feeling things are going to get bad for the nurses if I stay here any longer."

Tosh shot Owen a look of bemused confusion, so he said, "I'm bored. I don't have anything to think about. I don't think it would be a good idea to watch television, and the nurses are no fun. What can we do...friend?"

She thought for a moment, and wondered if this was really going on. Owen willing to spend some time with her. Not that he was the same Owen that she knew, but that was the point at the minute. The fact was that Owen didn't want to see anyone else but her. So she wondered for a minute what she would like to do to Owen, that the nurses would let her get away with without putting Owen in harms way and away from the hospital.

"How about a walk to the lake? There's a nice lake about 5 minutes walk from here. I can push you in a wheelchair, and we could sit in the sun and just chat?"

In the time that it took Owen to respond to her answer, Toshiko was already second guessing her idea. Why would Owen want to do something like that? A drink in a strip club would be more up his street.

"Sure, it seems like a nice day. Well what I can see of it, anyway. Go work your magic on the nurses. And if that doesn't work then send them in my direction, and I'll see what I can do. Go on! The sooner I get out of here the better," said Owen with excitement, and a lovely, genuine smile.

It was infectious, and Tosh just couldn't help herself, she giggled and smiled, and went off to sweet talk the nurses.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

After some sweet talking by Toshiko to the matron on duty in the hospital ward, it took around thirty minutes to load Owen into a hospital wheelchair and wheel him down to the ground floor. Once there Tosh moved across the open asphalt car park, turning onto a path at the edge of the car park that led to surrounding countryside. As Toshiko pushed Owen in the wheelchair, neither of them said much. They were out in the wilds of Cardiff, away from the hospital in what felt like months for each of them. As Owen didn't have any clothes at the hospital, apart from the ones he'd arrived in, which had been cut from his body, he was adorned in thick flannel pyjamas, and a terry robe in pale blue, a matching pair of slippers on his feet. The nurses had offered him a beanie hat, but he'd refused. No point looking a complete twat, he thought. His speech was getting stronger by the hour, making him realise what his voice sounded like for the first time.

Toshiko walked behind Owen steering him down the path, as Owen just sat watching the scenery slowly pass him by. He had a feeling that he hadn't had much of this in his life before his hospitalisation, but regardless he was enjoying being cared for a beautiful woman. Tosh found a bench some way along the path, parked up the chair, putting the parking brake on before she took a seat on the bench. They sat side by side admiring their surroundings.

It was late in the afternoon, and the sun moved lazily, sinking low in the sky as the world slowly revolved, unnoticed by all.

"So what do you think?" asked Tosh. She directed this question towards the aging sky, blossoming from light blue to hues of pinks and oranges, but Owen knew it was meant for him. Tosh suddenly felt extreme fatigue overcome her as she let the sinking sun warm her skin. There wasn't a lot to do when someone you loved was ill, but sitting by the side of a hospital bed for so long took a lot of energy.

"I think this was a great idea. Thank you! And thank you for persuading the nurses to release me. Even if it is just for an hour or two. This is my first sunset."

"Well it was nothing really, and no it isn't" she replied, blushing slightly.

Owen watched pink blush stain her cheeks, and somehow knew that Tosh wasn't used to praise, but he couldn't understand why. She was a nice person. She was interesting as far as he could tell, good looking. She had more brains than the women he had met, if her reading material was anything to go by and that included the nurses. He knew from the way she spoke that there was a lot of intelligence hidden behind those glass framed eyes. He just couldn't see why she was so shy. He thought it was time to find out more about this "colleague/friend" thing she had briefly spoken about earlier.

"You talked before about the relationship we used to have before my accident. What was I like before?" That was a good way to ease into it, thought Owen cunningly.

"You were..." how am I going to be able to answer his question without offending him, Tosh asked herself.

"You were a good doctor. You looked after people in need, and always tried to save people and aliens alike, even when they didn't deserve it."

Okay where to go now, thought Tosh, "You enjoyed going out around Cardiff at night, a few drinks after work," okay, not exactly the whole truth, but close enough for now.

"What about hobbies? Friends outside work?" asked Owen.

"Well...you had a few hobbies, but I can't exactly remember what they were."

"Did we go out? You & Me? As friends, with the others from Torchwood? Like on work nights out?"

"Well there has never really been a lot of time between watching the rift and capturing aliens in the dead of night to have any off time, or nights out with work."

"Well did we go out? Just the two of us?"

Tosh stopped looking at the sky and her eyes shot directly in Owen's direction. Owen continued to watch a swan glide through the water effortlessly, on the surface of a nearby pond. Toshiko could see that Owen refused to meet her eyes so she just kept her mouth shut. She was angry that he could say that! Though he wasn't the Owen she knew, it seemed like he was taunting her. Silence built up around them and it became uncomfortable, then Tosh broke it.

"No. No, that wasn't something that we ever did. You were too busy. Though I did ask once. You made a joke out of it, and I tried to keep a low profile in front of you after that."

Owen turned to watch her as words burst from her lips, like air escaping from an inflated balloon. He was shocked at the words that spilled from her mouth. They weren't friends, and they certainly weren't anything more than friends. Tosh's reaction to his questions told Owen the slight hope he'd harboured, that they had been something more than work colleagues, was wrong.

As he thought about this, Toshiko stood abruptly from the wooden bench, mistaking his silent pondering for something else entirely.

"We should get back."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

She moved to walk in front of Owen's wheelchair, intent on grabbing the handles of the wheelchair and steering Owen back to the hospital. Realising what she was about to do, Owen reached out a hand to stop her progress. He grabbed her arm and tried to pull her to a stop, but did not take into account her momentum and his angle of pull, which pulled her off balance. He sensed he'd pulled to hard, tried to right her, but she was already falling towards him. He had no option but to catch her.

He slid his arms around her waist as gravity took hold of her body, using his chest to cushion her fall. As her shoulder impacted his chest he let out an 'umph' noise. Her head hit his chin as she rebounded from her fall, causing Owen's teeth to snap together. His tongue had a lucky escape from any serious damage.

Owen's legs took a battering too, unexpectedly getting squashed under Tosh's petite, but well formed figure. In the three seconds this took, Tosh had a sense of weightlessness that crashed down as she toppled onto Owen's lap.

Owen sucked in a breath, checked his teeth were where they should be, before softly stating, "Please don't leave."

Tosh spun her head around as much as she could, so her eyes met Owen's. Owen's gaze absorbed her look of shock, surprise and an underlying desire. Desire for him? He didn't know but his focus shifted of its own accord, down her face to her lips. He traced their shape with his eyes, unconsciously inclining his head down toward her.

Within a millimetre of sealing his lips with hers she murmured, "What are you doing?" unaware she'd spoken. She'd been transfixed, watching Owen look her directly in the eye before looking at her lips. She was fascinated he was fascinated with her.

"Getting ready to kiss you," as he spoke his lower lip softly brushed against her upper one unexpectedly.

He touched his lips to hers a second time, purposefully this time. Tosh didn't move away. He brushed lips a third time, and she lowered her eye lids. He moved to meeting their lips in a full kiss, sealing lips over lips. Tosh started to respond to the kiss. Satisfied that she wouldn't pull back, Owen deepened the kiss, parting his lips and snatching a taste of her, just a sample. She was a little nervous and hesitant, so he opened up all the way. Loving the feel of her on his lips, the feel of her derriere sat in his lap.

He unconsciously moved one hand up her body to cup her head pulling her closer to him, revelling in the glossy strands of her hair, sifting his fingers through the back of her scalp over and over again. Tosh moaned throatily, unexpectedly displaying her pleasure at the kiss that had wiped her mind blank, leaving her free to fall deeply into the sensations only Owen seemed easily capable of inducing.

Owen, at the last vestiges of thought realised he needed to stop.

He slowly ended the kiss, regretfully, but he had no option. It was clear Toshiko knew a different Owen to the one he was today. Their conversation proved that. She was all he knew, the only person in his world, who had been with him in hospital, that he remembered anyway.

He liked her. Her voice, the halted conversations they'd had so far, her calming touch and beautiful body.

He sucked in a much needed breath, resting his forehead against her heated one. As Owen attempted to even out his breathing Toshiko kept her eyes closed, grateful and disappointed he'd ended the kiss so soon.

Owen eventually moved his head back far enough to see the last rays of sunshine hide below the horizon. Her eyes were still closed, so he broke the silence.

"Are you okay?"

Once he spoke, Tosh's eyes flew open. She panicked unsure of herself suddenly. She'd just shared a mind blowing, soul destroying kiss with the man she had always wanted to be with. The man she had secretly fawned over, watched as he had gone out night after night, seducing men and women alike, playing the field for three years, and who never once noticed her. Now, due to a mission gone wrong she was kissing him. Correction, he had kissed her and it hadn't been an accident.

Her brain kicked into overdrive, but she tried her best to tamp down on her up-roaring emotions. If she said anything to Owen about her feelings, he would inevitably remember every aspect of his former life and make life very hard for her. So the best thing she could do was protect herself and pretend the kiss had meant nothing.

"I'm fine."

"Are we going to talk about what just happened?"

"Just a kiss, nothing more."

Odd, but Owen had been sure she had been more affected than the kiss being 'just a kiss'.

"Okay...should we start to head back? The sun's about to set, and it'll be dark pretty soon."

"Yes, of course. I'll just-" Toshiko gestured around her before placing her hands on the arm rests of the wheelchair to facilitate her movement back to standing.

Tosh was struggling not to make any eye contact with Owen as she rounded the wheelchair and released the parking brake, before quickly pushing Owen back into the safe surroundings of the hospital ward.

The nurses helped get Owen settled so Tosh slipped away to make another call to the Hub. Ianto picked up the telephone this time.

"Hey Tosh! How's Owen getting on? Jack told me he was awake, but he doesn't remember who he is?"

"Ianto...I need your help. Could you come to the hospital? Take over for me? Keep him company?"

"Why? What's happened?"

"Nothing!" she tried to say it with nonchalance but was unsuccessful.

"You wouldn't ring unless something had happened. Is Owen okay?"

"He's fine. It's-it's me. He-I-we...we kissed."

"What?"

Ianto dropped the files he'd been organising, shocked by what she'd told him, but now he needed the full story.

"I took him for a walk outside, in his wheelchair. The sun was setting. He asked questions about what we were to each other, him and me. I wasn't comfortable and tried to leave, so he pulled on my arm and I somehow ended up sprawled over his lap. Next thing I know he's kissing me. It was unexpected and really nice, but once he remembers who he really is, it'll be like nothing ever happened. I need some space so I can set everything straight in my head, so I don't make too much of one kiss."

"Oh Tosh! Are you okay?"

"I will be, once you get here," a pleading vain entered her voice as she spoke.

"I'll speak to Jack and the nurses at the hospital. If they're happy with Owen's progress then there's no need for anyone to be at his bedside tonight."

"Could you keep him company up to lunch time tomorrow? Then I'll spend the afternoon with him?"

"If that's what you want, I'll be there. And if you need more time, ring me, and I'll stay as long as you want."

Toshiko ended the call not too long afterwards. She slowly made her way to the nurses' station, politely asking one of them to let Owen know she'd had to leave because of an emergency at work and would pop in at some point tomorrow.

She left as quietly as she'd arrived and busied herself with six flights of stairs instead of an overcrowded elevator.

She spent a sleepless night pacing her flat, feeling exhilarated over the kiss, and guilty for leaving him alone in a place he'd been stuck for weeks. She gave hard thought to what she was going to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Unexpectedly, after spending three weeks in bed, in his coma, Owen slept the whole night through. It was obvious his body was still trying to heal itself. He'd missed Toshiko's presence by his bedside, last night, her voice a gentle background noise that soothed him. He'd understood that while she'd been watching over his recovery, she'd been unable to do any work, so he accepted her message about being called to work as genuine.

It didn't quite ring true when, the next morning, a strange, Welsh man entered his room, unannounced.

"Morning Owen."

"Who are you?" the stranger did look slightly familiar. A light bulb turned on in Owen's brain, helping identify the smartly dressed man, "Ianto Jones! We work together. The coffee boy, right?"

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Teaboy, but close enough," Owen raised a bewildered eyebrow.

"That's the name you gave me when I first started working for Torchwood, and it seemed to stick."

"Oh. Sorry about that."

Ianto was taken aback by Owen's sincere sounding apology. He never said sorry. It was an Owen thing, but of course, Ianto reminded himself, Owen was different, at least for now.

"No worries. So how are you recovering?"

"Tosh told me I'm remembering things about my work, but not a lot else. I vaguely recognised you from a dream I had yesterday. We work with two other people right?"

"Gwen and Jack, yes?"

"So how come you're here?" asked Owen, quickly changing the subject, "You haven't visited me before today."

"I did, when you were first injured. We all did. We wanted to keep an eye on you. We were all worried. Tosh most of all."

"Where is Toshiko?"

"She...had some things she needed to do?"

"What kind of work is she working on?"

"I'm – erm not quite sure what she's working on at present," stuttered Ianto, unsure what to say.

"You're not very good at avoiding the truth are you?"

"Well-I"

"Would you tell me the truth? Put us both out of our misery."

"She has a few things she needed to deal with at home. Not work related. She asked me to keep you company."

Ianto settled himself in Tosh's chair.

"Can we talk? See if, maybe something sparks any memories?"

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

"I'm a Doctor?" Ianto nodded, "What am I like?"

"A caring person who'd always help someone in physical need."

"Tosh said something similar. What about emotional need?"

"Emotion isn't really your strong suit."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you may feel emotion, but you're very limited at expressing it. You talk a lot, but you never say much that matters."

"Is that your opinion, or a consensus?" Ianto eyed Owen critically. What was going through his mind for him to ask something like that?

"Consensus."

"Tosh feels that way too?"

"She's very good at hiding emotions, but she feels them readily enough. She'd never say what she thought, but I know her well enough. She'd either agree or say you express them in a different way."

"I tried to ask her a question yesterday and she was angry with the answer. If you're as good a friend as you say, then maybe you'll know the answer."

"I'll try, but won't promise anything."

"Have we ever been more than friends?"

"No."

"Did I ever show any signs of interest in her? Before the accident?"

"No."

Owen started to look uncomfortable with Ianto's answer, but pressed ahead with the questions, he needed answers to.

"Did she ever show any interest in me?"

"That I can't answer."

"But-"

"You need to talk to Tosh. If she won't give you an answer, come at the question from a different angle, but the answer you need won't come from me."

Owen spent the rest of the morning asking more questions about the person he had been. Ianto didn't try to sugar coat his answers, and definitely wasn't afraid of hurting Owen's feelings. By mid-morning Owen found himself dipping into a depressive slump. Hearing it from someone else's mouth he sounded like an unfeeling, loud mouthed, offensive Londoner who seemed to enjoy making an obvious point about his own and other people's misery. A womaniser, trawling bars for easy lays, it appeared he was really only out to get himself a good time. And he still had no memory of doing anything like that.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A.N. - I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has been reading this fic. Thank you for reviewing the chapters so far, and for your lovely comments. For the people that have asked about the fic, yes there will be more to come...there's about another 8 chapters written, I've just got to get the editing done on it. **_

_**Hope you enjoy the next bit. -x-**_

Chapter 8

Ianto enjoyed his time with Owen. He was much more responsive to questions, more in touch with feelings to thoughts and ideas, and there was a slight tenderness to his voice that had never been there before. He'd felt some sympathy towards Owen when he'd asked the questions about Toshiko.

Owen had lapsed into silence about 25 minutes ago. A line of concentration marring his forehead, probably as he mulled over all the information he'd gleaned from him.

"I wasn't a very nice person before, was I?" Owen asked, out of the blue.

"You were...hard work," stated Ianto with great conviction.

"How can I change? I don't like the view of the man you described."

"Stop being an idiot? You've got an intelligent mind, but you need to use it before you open your mouth."

"Think before I speak?"

"Yes, and think who your speech will hurt."

"I can do that," Owen said out loud to himself.

"I'm sure you can," sided Ianto enthusiastically. A change in personality would mean his life would get easier.

Ianto had had the forethought to bring some work, a reading book and several medical texts to help keep Owen and himself occupied, but he found he didn't need any of them as they talked and that's exactly what he was doing, talking with Owen. Meaningful conversation took up a large chunk of the morning. Ianto had trouble thinking back to the last time he and Owen had ever talked for so long, without insulting each other.

Ianto loved Tosh and understood her need to try and wipe the kiss from her memory to stop bad feelings later when Owen's memory returned. Ianto was rarely nosy when it came to other people's business, but because she meant so much to him, he felt he should find out what had been going through Owen's mind when he kissed her.

"You like Tosh don't you?"

"Yes," Owen stated readily.

"What is it that you like about her?"

"I'm not sure."

"Try!"

"...intelligent, witty when she wants to be, beautiful, kind and caring..."

"Did you kiss her because she was intelligent and witty?" Owen eyes widened sharply, bulging from their sockets on his face.

"How-what-" Owen barely knew this man and he was asking such a personal question! And how did he know about the kiss?

"Just answer the question!"

"No."

"What attracted you to her...to kiss her?"

"It was a heat of the moment thing. She was there, looking beautiful as she tried to walk away, with anger all over her face – it just happened?"

"So it meant nothing?

"

"I didn't say that! It meant – hell, I don't know what it meant, but I like her."

"Is it likely to happen again?"

"I don't know! I'm not a mind reader! Or a psychic. I can't see into the future."

"But would you like it to happen?"

"Yes. Yes I think I would."

"Alright then. At least you've started to get down to the bottom of things. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to dealing with it."

Suddenly, as if a light had gone on inside his head, Owen knew why Toshiko wasn't there. It made sense that their kiss had indeed meant something. Maybe too much of something.

His mind flew back to the time he had spent in his hospital bed, unconscious but unable to hear a voice, like a soothing caress to his wounded body. When she'd seen him awake a look of panic had entered her face, and she'd asked him if he'd wanted her to leave. Had she said something? Expressed feelings to him while he was unable to respond, trapped in his coma? He was suddenly confused.

"Does Tosh have feelings for me?" The words were out of his mouth before he knew he'd spoken them.

"Not my question to-"

"Answer. Yes I know. Is that why she isn't here? Because I kissed her?"

"I can't-"

"Ianto! Just tell me! Stop bull-shitting and be honest with me," Owen tried to talk calmly as panic threatened to invade. A panic he did not understand. His breathing increased. His chest rising and falling quicker and quicker. His head felt heavy and light at the same time. He struggled to suck in the much needed oxygen his body screamed for.

"Owen! You need to calm down. Just relax and breathe slowly."

Ianto stood from his chair as Owen started going through a panic attack. Ianto tried to calm Owen, taking his shoulders and gripping him, so they were face to face.

"Follow my lead. Breathe in...and out. In and out. Come on – In and out." Ianto battled with Owen, instructing him and eventually Owen's breathing got back to normal. He shuddered and collapsed, his body falling back into the pillows of the bed.

"Almost had one of those before," murmured Owen.

"How do you know?" Happy Owen was back to normal, Ianto returned to his seat.

"Katie. When her condition started to get worse, and I had to face losing her. I broke down in my office at the hospital."

"Who's Katie?"

"My-" Owen realised he'd remembered a whole lot of information about someone he'd never met, but had known so well.

"My fiancé."

"Where is she now?" Ianto asked quietly.

"I'm not sure," Owen said, and because he trusted Ianto, because Ianto had helped him, Owen told him what he remembered about Katie.

Given the timeline Ianto pieced together the information, estimating Katie and Owen's relationship to be just before Owen started at Torchwood. He'd have to research the missing gap in Owen's memory.

"So that explained why you acted like you had nothing to lose when you started at Torchwood." Ianto murmured, finally coming to understand the old Owen more.

"Because I didn't? Not that I remember anything about how our relationship ended." Owen blinked back a slight tear he hadn't known had been forming in the corner of his eye.

"Since you've known me, how have I treated people? Men? Women? Children? Girlfriends?"

"Why are you asking me these questions?"

"Because I trust you to tell me the honest truth. Not sweeten it to avoid an awkward conversation."

Ianto laughed with surprise, "I wish Jack could've heard you say that!"

"Jack?"

"I'll explain in a minute," smiling to himself, Ianto continued, "You've had two relationships that I know of since I joined Torchwood. One with Gwen Cooper-"

"Doesn't she work at Torchwood?"

"Yes. Let me finish! Gwen was an affair. A sharing of bodies and emotions after a shared horrific event. Possibly a way to vent and share after the job we do. She had a boyfriend at the time."

Ianto waited ten seconds for the information to sink in.

"The second was with a female pilot from the past. She accidentally flew three other people through the rift, the rip in the fabric of space time? You tried to help her settle into her new life in the 21st Century, but she wasn't happy here, couldn't settle so she flew back into the rift. I think you loved her."

"What was her name?"

"Diane."

Owen had a vague memory of a floating, silk dress. A wave of something he couldn't identify swept over him.

"When?"

"About six months ago."

"How long have I known Tosh?"

"Three years? Give or take?"

"How are things between me and Gwen, now?"

"As far as I know you only work together now. No sex."

"Are you dating anyone?"

"Owen! Bit of a personal question don't you think?"

"Well you seem to know all about me. Tell me something about you. Who are you dating teaboy?"

Ianto glared at Owen over the use of the childish nickname. Owen smiled.

"I'm dating Jack."

"Your boss?"

"Our boss, and it just happened," Ianto blushed as he corrected Owen, and told it like it was.

"You're gay? He's gay? You're gay together?" Owen hadn't really been prepared for hearing this. He wasn't disgusted or angry, just shocked. He'd never considered that Ianto, having known him for several hours, was gay.

"I'm not gay. And neither is he. He's...a complicated individual. I'm-I've had mostly girlfriends until Jack. It's-we're complex." Although he tried not to, Ianto stuttered his way through the sentence. He didn't think Owen was ready to hear that Jack wasn't your average human.

"Okay. I guess I knew you were a couple before, right?"

"Yes, and you took every opportunity to ridicule me about it."

"I'm sorry. You must be together for a reason. Your business, as long as you're happy."

Ianto smiled fondly remembering just how 'happy' he'd been this morning in the shower.

"I am very happy, thank you."

"Do you see Tosh and I as a couple? Like you and Jack?"

"I think you should concentrate on remembering your life, before you start making plans with other people who could be easily swayed by you."

"But-"

"Owen please! She's my best friend. I don't want to see her hurt, by anyone. I know how she's always felt about you, but you never saw the person she was, or the potential she has; as a friend or more. We need to stop talking about anything Tosh related, and see what other memories we can dig up." Ianto was frustrated by the constant topic of Tosh, he just blurted the words out.

"Alright. Thank you for being such a good friend to her."

"There's no need to thank me. I love her."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Forty five minutes later Jack walked into Owen's room, winking at the nurse who had helped him find his way. She smiled brightly in response, making Ianto's eyes roll. Typical Jack, even in a hospital he managed to get on the good side of nurses with a wink and a smile. He was so cheesy.

"Morning gentleman. How are we this morning?"

"Good. Owen's remembered something's. I've tried to give him some answers to questions he asked."

"And you must be Jack?"

"Yes Owen, that's right. Didn't think you'd forget me so easily."

"Aren't you going to greet Ianto properly?" asked Owen innocently.

"What do you mean?"

"If you're a couple, as Ianto says you are, shouldn't you greet each other like a couple? A Hug? A Kiss?"

"We don't do that," stuttered Ianto awkwardly.

"We can do it," complained Jack, as he subtly moved around to Ianto's chair.

"But we don't."

"But we should. Owen's right!" and with that Jack hauled Ianto out of the creaky hospital chair, pulled him into his body, quickly and efficiently caging Ianto's still moving body with his arms, before lowering his mouth to Ianto's, sealing them in a passionate kiss. Jack's artistic flare kicked in as he spun Ianto and bent him backwards over his arm. Ianto was suspended by Jack's arms, unaware of his surroundings and Owen's watchful gaze.

As Owen watched he was in awe of the sight before him. He couldn't remember watching two guys kiss, but if his body's physical reaction to them was any indication he liked men. Wow! Always a surprise waiting for him.

Owen cleared his throat to draw their attention back to the present. Slowly, reluctantly Jack pulled them both back into standing and parted from Ianto.

Ianto looked flustered and refused to meet both Jack and Owen's eyes.

"Nice presentation skills. That was some kiss!"

"I aim to please," replied Jack with a smile thrown in Ianto's direction.

"Am I bisexual?" asked Owen out of the blue. This question caused Ianto to look up from the floor he'd been busy admiring, a questioning look written on his face. Jack's eyes widened with surprise. He looked to Ianto for an answer, but Ianto shrugged one shoulder, unsure how to answer.

"Yes Owen, I believe you are."

"That explains why you guys looked so hot to me just now."

Again, both men showed surprise on their face.

"I like this Owen, Ianto," said Jack evenly.

"Me too. He's apologised twice to me already, since I've been here."

"I'm impressed! You ready to leave these beautiful surroundings?"

"Just this room? Or the whole hospital for more than one day?" answered Owen, hoping could get back out into the outside again.

"The hospital. They're happy with your progress, and you can leave whenever you're ready."

"But where will I go?"

"Your apartment. We know where you live and I keep a spare key of everyone's living quarters, just in case I need them."

"Alright, but what about my memory loss."

"The nurses are happy that we'll look after you. They said that, given time, you'll get the majority of your memory back. We just need to get you back into familiar surroundings."

"Let's get out of here then!"

Together they packed the few belongings Owen had accumulated, signed the necessary paperwork and were on the road to Owen's place within 30 minutes. Jack placed a call to Tosh, to let her know she need not bother heading to the hospital, that Owen would be safely installed in his apartment, equipped with a fully stocked fridge and cupboards and if she wanted to she could visit anytime she wanted.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

After being shown around his apartment, which looked barely lived in, Owen settled on the sofa and absorbed everything he had heard, seen and been exposed to today.

So Owen liked both men and women. He seemed to have been a bit of a bastard to people, taking the piss out of them, having affairs with women who had boyfriends, basically being an arse. It didn't appear he had many friends outside of Torchwood because no one but Tosh, Ianto and Jack had visited him. Whatever happened, when his memory did fully return, he promised himself he would never end up going back to being a dick who pushed people aside and hurt them. No more locking things away.

He wanted to call Toshiko, but didn't know her number. Ianto had left his mobile and work numbers in case he had any problems, but Owen didn't want to pester Ianto for her number, making him seem desperate to talk to Tosh. He could wait until she was ready to speak to him.

He spent the rest of the afternoon immersing himself in his possessions and history. He started in the bedroom.

Clothes were strewn over the bed. He tried each item on, looking at himself in a full length mirror in one corner of the room. He appeared to own lots of casual clothing, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, but he also found at the far back of the wardrobe several tailored black and pinstriped suits, with a variety of plain white and blue collared shirts and ties. When he'd finished with the clothes, he tried on the shoes.

Clothes from another lifetime, with Katie and NHS hospitals. As he tried items on he reflected on his memories of her. He had loved her. Possibly his first love, and since he'd remembered her he had felt a feeling of confusion over what had happened to her, but also at the back of his mind a feeling of devastation. How could the one person he loved in the whole world be the one person he had been unable to save? And just like that Owen was hit with the knowledge that Katie had died on an operating table.

Everything he knew about medicine meant nothing if he hadn't been able to save her. That day had destroyed his faith in his ability to heal, and opened his mind to the impossible world of extraterrestrial life. When you closed one door, another one opened. His life had become meaningful in a different way, saving people from aliens instead of disease or injury.

The room didn't hold any picture frames or mementoes he could see.

Checking his bedside table draws he found a heap of condoms, a tube of lubricant, and several assorted sex toys, including cock rings and a butt plug. He obviously enjoyed sex, given the vast quantities of supplies in the drawer. He quickly closed the it and wandered into the bathroom.

Everywhere looked fairly clean; a walk in shower, a stand alone bath tub, a sink and toilet. The space above the sink held a long width mirror. He gave the bathroom cabinets a wide berth – sure of what he'd find in them.

Owen trailed into the living room, and switch on the large flat screen TV on the wall. The living area was square with the bedroom and bathroom coming off of it. The TV took up the majority of one wall, with a comfortable brown leather sofa angled adjacent. Each end of the sofa was bordered by two oak, square coffee tables. He noticed speakers under the wall mounted TV, and in each corner of the room, wired for surround sound.

Again, there were no personal items, picture frames of family or friends. Everything was sterile looking, very impersonal. Owen wondered to himself what his relationships had been like with his family? Did he have any family still around? Distant or immediate? If not, why not? Were they dead or estranged? He had so many questions and still no one to talk it over with.

He went to the fridge and rooted around, spying a green long necked bottle, hidden at the back of the fridge, behind a large block of plastic encased cheese, and an ear of cauliflower. Carefully extracting he searched all the kitchen drawers, eventually coming upon a small bottle opener. Cracking the metal cap off the condensation covered green bottle, Owen took a long pull of the beverage, letting its yeasty, carbonated liquid slide down his throat.

He chocked a little at the coldness of the fluid as it flowed down his digestive pipe.

He left the kitchen, beer clenched in hand as he easily located the remote controls to all the electrical appliances in the living room.

Dropping onto the soft leather sofa, Owen hit on the 'ON' switch on one remote, causing the TV to burst into life. Some skills you never seemed to forget, it seemed. After setting up the satellite box he surfed through the 752 channels he was obviously paying for, but couldn't seem to settle down to one particular programme. An hour went by before he grew tired of pressing the control buttons.

Frustrations at himself and his situation caused him to shut the TV off and throw the remote down next to him, slightly hard than he'd intended. The controller bounced off the cushion tipping off the edge as it landed, clattering onto the hardwood floor. Owen flung himself back against the cushions.

This was ridiculous. He felt like a prisoner in his own home! Gathering his strength he hauled himself up, located a jacket, and remembering to collect his house keys, left the apartment, locking it up behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Sorry this chapter is so short!**_

Chapter 11

He took the stairs two at a time, to help familiarise himself with the building again.

As he slipped out the apartment blocks front door, and stepped out into the cooling spring night air, he hunched deeper into his jacket as the sky started to darken from yellows, pinks and reds to the purples, blues and blacks of the night.

For three hours, Owen walked around the local area. He passed shops, restaurants, cafes and bars, stepping into each in turn. Every smell, view of a room, hearing chatter of establishment patrons, gave Owen a small spark of memory. Times he'd visited the business places alone, or with random women he had no name for. It was good to be alone for a while. He had realised he'd needed this time to try to explore himself.

Slowly he made his way back to his apartment, scouring the streets for familiar place names. As Owen approached the outer door to his apartment building he spied a small figure huddled in a jacket, their back against the glass door, knees hugged into their chest. The unnamed person had dropped their head onto their knees in sleep? Blocking their facial features from his vision.

His was an upscale building, so it was unusual to see a homeless person trying to find shelter in the doorway. Could be the person was locked out without their keys?

As Owen approached, the figure must have heard his footsteps because they raised their head.

"Toshiko!" said Owen as he glimpsed her face. He hadn't realised he'd spoken her name until she said his in return.


	12. Chapter 12

Just managed to get this finished before I head off to bed. Hope you like.

Chapter 12

Toshiko gasped as she saw Owen stood in front of her. She had thought about him all day long, but had waited until sunset to see visit him in his apartment, give him time to settle in, without her possibly overbearing presence.

She'd arrived unannounced, not something she was in the habit of doing, but she was in her car and half way across town before she knew she'd stepped out the front door. She'd pressed the buzzer to his apartment for five whole minutes when he didn't answer, just in case he had fallen asleep. Concerned when he didn't answer, Tosh rang his home phone, only to be on the receiving end of his answer phone machine. Next she'd tried his mobile, only to have it picked up by Ianto. She'd forgotten Owen's phone was still stored at the Hub until he started back at work. Ianto had reminded her that they'd kept Owen's possessions from the hospital, so he didn't feel pressured into starting back at work. Embarrassed, again, she had hung up swiftly before she tried getting into the building by pressing other people's buzzer. Most people refused to give her access because they didn't know anyone named Owen that lived in number 12A, and they had no idea who she was. Some buzzer buttons received no answer as the people just weren't home, or refused to answer at such a time.

In the end Toshiko sat down on the cold hard paving stones outside the building and waited for Owen to return, willing someone to walk in or out of the door next to her, so she could at least gain access to the building, and get warm. That's how Owen had found her, huddled up in her jacket, trying to keep herself warm.

Owen rushed over to her when he spotted her, kneeling to help Toshiko stand. She moved, of her own accord, to push herself up. Owen helped her up by grabbing her under the arm pits and hauling her away from the concrete ground. She struggled to maintain balance on her feet as gravity pulled blood from her long time static body down into her thighs, legs and feet. Her legs buckled, so Owen tightened his grip, pulling her to his chest to stabilise her.

Owen felt a thrill rush down his spine as he felt her cold body brush against his. To see her waiting for him was empowering. It made him feel strong, as if he could take on anything the world could throw at him. It was also a feeling he'd felt rarely before. His memory touched on a memory hidden deep, when he had felt the raw power to face a razor teethed monster in a caged arena. The rage, the embodied power to fight for his life, of having nothing to lose thrilled and chilled him at the same time. He cast the memory aside, as he continued to hold Toshiko, transferring some of his body heat to her.

Toshiko looked up into Owen's eyes, a big smile playing freely across her face. Her ability to freely show him this form of emotion was a joy for Owen to witness. Although he didn't remember, he knew she wouldn't ever have smiled so readily at him, while she was in his arms, before his accident.

Owen looked down at her, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. It felt so natural, so he followed the instinct that was as natural as breathing. He lowered his head to capture her lips underneath his own.

She wasn't shocked this time. She'd been prepared for this, another kiss. She put everything she had into the kiss, almost like welcoming a long lost lover home, she poured herself into the kiss. She'd reasoned, over the last 24 hours, about what she should do, about their first kiss, and her growing feelings towards Owen. In the end she'd said, to hell with it! She'd tell him how she felt. When he remembered, who he really was, then she'd deal with the aftermath, even if that meant she had to steal some retcon and dose both herself and Owen with it, so there was no awkwardness. Also, she thought, that she would have no memory and everything would, therefore, go back to how it had been.

Toshiko never been able to live in the now, but she believed it was time she gave it a try, starting by having a real life, an affair of sorts and damn the consequences. What a time to grow up and face life head on, her mind screamed.

Toshiko managed to get her legs back underneath her, and gripped Owen's biceps, smoothing her hands over his chest. She revelled in the feel of his lips over hers. She left one hand resting lightly over his heart, raising her other to grip onto his shoulder. Able to stand on her own two feet again, Owen's hands were free to move from their position under her arms. They dropped to her tiny waist, caressing her skin through her jacket and clothing. He moved them to encircle her, clasping in the small of her back, before daring to move lower to grasp her rear gently, edging her body closer into the warmth of his.

Tosh desperately needed some oxygen, before bodily sensations completely over took her. Reluctantly Toshiko pulled back, away from Owen's searching mouth. For a second he tried to follow her, before he opened his eyes, remembering they were in the middle of a fairly public place, regardless of the darkness of the evening, looking like they would devour each other, given the opportunity.

"We should move upstairs, talk over some things, and give my lungs some room to breathe," said Tosh, sounding unsurprisingly breathless. She raised the arm still gripping Owen's shoulder to point in the vague direction of his place, to illustrate her point.

Not entirely happy he'd been stopped before he was ready, Owen used the hands still secured on her derriere to jerk her close one last time, plant one more kiss dead centre on her lips before he relinquished his hold of her. He nodded his head, almost indistinguishably, to signify his agreement, before he moved to head in the direction of his apartment.

Remembering the keys in his pocket, Owen led the short distance to the glass fronted building door. Opening it he gestured for her to precede him into the foyer. Tosh was thrilled by the warm gust of air that enveloped her as she passed through the doors threshold. She moved in front of the elevator and pressed the 'UP' button.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Owen stood just behind her, as he followed her in the direction of the elevator. He didn't touch Toshiko, but shadowed her body with his own. Neither individual said a word as the elevator made them aware of its presence, with an overly loud 'ping'. The reflective, silver, double doors opened in front of them with a whoosh noise. The elevator proved to be empty as they moved as one entity into the carriage. Owen moved to Tosh's left pressing the button for his floor. On the ride up, silence prevailed, no words or subtle rustling of clothing, neither trusting themselves to touch the other, least they make a public scene.

Keys still in hand, Owen watched the numbers of the floors ascend slowly. It never normally took this long! He tapped his keys impatiently into the open palm of his opposite hand. After five quick repetitions Tosh's eyes narrowed and she ventured a look at him. He realised that he that sound was annoying, so he stopped.

He looked nervous, thought Tosh, not a look Owen normally sported. She was glad she'd been able to see that expression just once. It reassured her that he did have some vulnerability hidden away behind his tough pre-injury facade.

After what felt like an hour, and in reality was only 45 seconds, they reached the sixth floor. The wood panelled doors, facing them, separated smoothly, opening them up to the carpeted corridor beyond. Checking his speed, Owen walked sedately to his door, fitted the key in the lock and pushed the door open gently. He turned and waited just before the opening, gesturing again for Tosh to go in first. He reined in the urge to touch her as she accidentally brushed past him. Once they were both inside they stood around in the living area, unsure what to do next. Nervousness replaced the reined in passion from 5 minutes earlier.

Owen quickly remembered his social graces and offered Tosh a drink.

"Have you got any beers?" she asked.

"I think I drank the only one, earlier."

There goes the courage booster then, thought Tosh.

"Why don't we just talk?" she said encouragingly.

Without waiting for Owen to answer Tosh took off her jacket, laying it flat over the back of the nearby sofa in the open plan flat, before sitting on one side of the large sofa.

She looked up to Owen to join her, going so far as to pat her hand on the seat next to her, to encourage him to sit. Owen settle himself a short distance away from her, but no closer, so she raised her knees in a protective gesture, onto the sofa cushion, tucking her feet beneath her.

"We should talk, about all this you and me stuff."

"Okay," Owen hesitated, unsure of any good that would come out of this conversation.

"I have something I've needed to get off my chest for a while now. Something I've kept hidden for a long time. I-"

"Love me!" interrupted Owen, not sure how or why he'd done it, but sure that Toshiko had never looked more surprised, like the wind had been taken out of her sails.

"How do you know that?"

"I figured it out, after our first kiss. Oh, and never get Ianto to lie for you, he's terrible at it."

"You spoke to Ianto about this?" she said, horror filling her voice. Ianto was her friend, yes, but she didn't expect or want him to be discussing her with anyone else.

"You didn't come back to the hospital. I had no one else to talk to. He said you were good friends, but all the personal questions I asked him about, he told me to ask to you. We talked a lot about different things. Through Ianto I found out some more things about myself. How I treat people. Memories I remembered. I missed you but I had a good time with Ianto. I met Jack too."

She didn't know how to respond. He'd wanted her to come back, after the kiss, to talk to her, but she'd hidden herself away, selfishly.

"I like you. I like kissing you. I like talking to you, listening to you talk. Your smile, your laugh...Need I go on?"

"But-"

"I kissed you in the woods. You kissed me just now on the street. So we're equal. I couldn't touch you in the lift because I didn't think I could control myself not to touch you."

"What can I say to that?"

Owen shuffled closer to Toshiko, tilting his head slightly with a shadow of a smile over his face.

"You want to kiss me again?" he said expectantly.

"You knocked me off guard when you spoke about the conversation you'd had with Ianto. I wanted to tell you my feelings for you."

"But I already no-"

"But I haven't told you. And I might never get a second chance to tell you."

"You can tell me how you feel anytime you want to. Everyday, if necessary."

"I love you. I've have for a long time. I've never told you because you never saw me as a desirable enough woman. You slept around, a lot, but I still loved you. Then this thing happen and you lost your memory and you're a different person, until your memory returns. If you're willing I want to see were that kiss leads, and figure things out as we go along."

In response Owen leaned forward, first placing his lips to her forehead, then her nose, and finally to her lips, hovering over her as she responded. She placed her hands on both sides of his face, gripping him to her. Lips grappled to beat each other, as if in a race to the finish. Tosh was in control, even though Owen had initiated the kiss.

The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Tosh in any way, so he let her take the lead. She slowed the pace of her lips, deepening the kiss, using her tongue to entice and seduce. Tosh hadn't known she's had 'temptress' in her, but she was thoroughly enjoying herself. Still holding Owen's head in place she manoeuvred herself, shifting so Owen was seated straight on the sofa, not turned towards her, before shyly raising on leg to swing over Owen, essentially straddling his thighs. Lowering down slowly, she wiggled her bum quickly, without warning to get a little more comfortable. A burst of pleasure shot straight to Owen's groin, causing him to release a deep groan.

Startled Tosh moved again, causing Owen to let out another groan as his hands shot to grab her thighs, stilling her movements. Tosh released her hold on his mouth, pulling away so she could see his face.

"Are you alright?" she asked slightly concerned.

"Yeah! Your wiggling backside caused some feeling I've not felt before," his eyes shifted from her face down to his groin, "like it's my first time."

"Don't you remember any-"

"No!" Owen cut her off fighting through his embarrassment. He'd kind of hoped, in the back of his mind, that nature would have taken over, but so far nothing.

"Ah." Tosh was unsure of what to say to make things less awkward.

"We've known each other such a short time."

"Three years."

"Three days, for me. I've only known myself that long! Can we take a breather?"

Tosh was suddenly overcome with embarrassment. The old Toshiko was taking over again, bring insecurities. She blushed furiously, moving her hands from their place at his face to his shoulders for balance, and threw her leg back over Owen's thighs, rolling away from him.

"I should go. Let you get your rest."

She stood on unstable knees, looking for her jacket, which had fallen off the back of the sofa.

"Tosh, please stay! Sit down, please! Can we just watch a film or something and talk? Spend from time together?"

"After what we just almost did? I don't think I can," said Tosh, refusing to meet Owen's eyes and shaking her head.

"It's not that I don't want you Toshiko. I just don't think this should be something rushed into. I don't want to hurt you, because I know I have in the past – hurt too many people. I don't want to do that anymore. Please stay!"

That confession did stop her in her tracks. Again, how did he know he'd hurt her in the past? Hurt other people? Had he remembered something more, or had Ianto said something? She felt that she needed to stay now, to see if she can find out more.

Putting her jacket back on the sofa she said, "I will stay. You can put on whatever you like, except horror." She still sounded put out as she sat back in her seat, cautious to put distance between them.

"Will a series of House do? I can't seem to find anything else."

"Yeah, fine."

"Are you hungry?"

It was ten o'clock in the evening. Both people had neglected to each, mostly because they were used to eating at strange times and on the go, and missing a meal wasn't uncommon at work.

"You won't have anything in to eat," piped up Tosh as Owen moved into the open kitchen area to forage for food.

"I saw some take out leaflets somewhere. We can order from there?"

So they scanned through the collection Owen had hidden away in the front of one kitchen drawer. Making an amiable decision Owen rang the take out business and placed their order.

While they waited for the food to arrive, Owen put the first disk of House into the DVD player, and settled on the soda. He sat close to Tosh, within touching distance. They sat in silence slowly relaxing.

Half way through the second episode, food arrived, and they ate in front of the television, the only sound in the room being their teeth chewing. Tosh's embarrassment and unsettled mood faded the more they sat and watched.

The television programme they were watching droned in the distance as Owen dispensed of the takeaway rubbish. Washing the cutlery and taking the rubbish out, he settled back down on the sofa and flung his left arm over the back of the cushions, over Toshiko's head.

Tosh's eyes eventually grew heavy as she tried to keep track of the storyline playing out on the screen. She felt Owen's arm hang over her head, and listened to the constant buzz of voice's which gently lulled her to close her eyes fully.

She didn't know how long she lay there with eyes closed, but at some point she felt her bead being moved softly forwards, and a cushioned, muscular forearm placed behind her head to support her neck. She felt a heat slide up the right side of her body keeping her warm, comforting her, lulling her into deeper slumber.

As Owen settled his arm around her shoulder, he gently settled her against him, so she'd be warmer and more comfortable as she dozed. Absorbing part of her body weight, Owen let his mind wander away from the story playing out on screen. Drinking in the sound Toshiko made as she slept, the rise and fall of her chest, how she curled the hands tightly towards her face, pillowing them so she was more settled.

The last time he'd done this was with a woman with dark hair, he remembered. They'd curled up together, music subtly playing in the background, talking about world history and the future. She'd had a lilt to her voice that rang of warrior spirit and subtle authority. A pang of love and loss touched Owen's soul as he moved himself and Tosh into a side lying position on the sofa. Drawing her more securely to his chest, Owen rested his head on the edge of the sofa arm and closed his eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

At some point during the night Owen awoke to find Tosh turned towards him, her face snuggled into his neck, as if trying to keep herself warm. Owen shivered in the chill of the room. His hands were cold, as was the tip of his nose.

Edging himself away from Tosh, he clambered over the cushions, freeing himself. He went to the his bedroom to turn down the duvet. Removing his shoes and socks, swapping his shirt and jeans for shorts and t-shirt, Owen went back to collect Toshiko's cold body.

In his absence she had rolled over, so her chest and thighs were pressed into the back of the sofa cushions in an attempt to absorb the heat Owen had imprinted on them.

Gently, taking care not the wake her, he loaded her into his arms, cushioning her head on his forearm again, as you would with a baby. Slowly he walked them into his bedroom. His only though had been to warm them up, let them sleep in relative comfort.

Laying her out on the mattress he swiftly disrobed her of her shoes, before pulling the duvet securely around her still form, tucking it beneath the mattress to maintain her warmth.

He gently placed a chaste kiss on her forehead before making his way to the other side of the bed. Hopping in, he stayed at the edge of his side of the bed, cuddling into the feathery weight of the duvet. It felt unusual to sleep in a bed that was roomy, being so used to his hospital gurney.

His mind refused to let him rest, but he stilled his antsy body to ensure Toshiko stayed asleep. He put his mind to work, trying his hardest to recall more of his memory. He couldn't picture the place that he worked. He'd been better able to fit Jack and Ianto into the vivid dream he remembered. The only person he still couldn't really place was Gwen.

He rolled onto his back, pillowing his hands under his head to stare into the darkness of the bedroom.

How is it possible, of all the things he could forget, he couldn't remember any of his sexual encounters with women? After all the one night stands and relationships he'd reportedly had, surely he should be able to remember something? Talk about embarrassing, thought Owen, referring to the situation with Tosh earlier. He'd loved the feel of her in his lap, the sensations she evoked, but he had panicked. He had not knowledge, or idea what he should do next. He guessed the end result, but felt they needed to slow things down, so he could work out how things should be done, in his own time.

He'd enjoyed her being in control, but felt he needed self discovery, instead of a leader.

He desperately wanted to kiss her now, but a sense of wrongness stopped him. He wanted her to be awake when he kissed her again. Over thinking that particular thought he closed his eyes and slept.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Sunlight poured through double paned glass windows that spanned from floor to ceiling on one side of the room. The sun was almost at its highest point in the sky, heating the room with its radiation. The lightness of the room surrounded Tosh, breaking into her unconscious, gently urging her to wake.

Because she slept facing the window, and the curtains hadn't been drawn the night before, she was baffled as the why the sun was in her eyes and a duvet covered her.

Before she attempted to move, she tried to think where she was.

She'd eaten with Owen, watched House but couldn't remember getting home. She'd always slept on the wall facing side of the bed, so it was unusual to be woken by the rising sun. Especially as she was an early riser for work. Only the mattress didn't feel as supportive or firm as her own. And then it hit her.

She'd spent the night at Owen's, in his bed, somehow, and had no recollection how she'd gotten there.

She moved, then using her hands to pat down her body, feeling clothes, not nakedness , which bode well. She flung back the duvet to check the state of her clothing. No buttons missing, open, or hastily done up in the wrong order.

Pleased she hadn't made more of a fool of herself she tried to raise from the bed, only to find she was being held down by a weight secured around her waist. Slowly she turned around, so her back faced the windows to face the arm holding her.

His eyes were still closed, even though he faced the sunny windows. He looked more peaceful now than in all the time she'd seen him unconscious in his coma.

Although she'd been surprised by the weight around her middle, she hadn't been surprised to find him in the bed too. She continued to watch him. She was so enthralled in the sight before her, that she missed the faint frown furrowing his brow, his increase in breathing. She missed all the signs of a person waking from slumber, until he opened his eyes. He didn't move, only felt someone watching him, so he waiting for her to notice he was alert.

Minutes elapsed and she still hadn't realised Owen was awake, so he spoke to her.

"Good morning," Owen said, his voice slightly deeper and huskier from sleep.

Tosh jumped and immediately locked eyes with his. At some point during her vigil she'd risen up on one elbow, so she had a better view, Owen's arm still secured at her waist, his hand limply resting in the small of her back.

He smiled at her startled reaction. Before she could say anything about their sleeping arrangements, he quickly launched into an explanation about how they'd ended up there.

"We fell asleep on the sofa. I woke up and it was late, and cold. I thought you'd be more comfortable and warmer in the bed. I took off your shoes, so they wouldn't dig into you. The bed is big enough for us both to share, without bumping into each other."

Tosh listened to his confession, smiling at him before she responded.

"So how come your arm's around my waist?"

Immediately he made a move to bring his arm back to join his body.

"Oh-I'm sorry, I-I'll-"

"It can stay where it is. For now." Toshiko used her left arm to still his.

"Thank you for thinking about me."

"It's a bit hard not to at the minute. You're in my bed, and have this way of staying in my head, even when you're not around."

"There's not a lot I can do about that I'm afraid."

"Can I do something?" asked Owen, giving her a sideways look.

"I guess so, considering you saved me from a stiff neck."

Leaning up onto his own elbow, firmly shifting his right hand at the base of her spine, he levered himself up more so he raised above Tosh's face. He wiggled closer over the sheeted mattress, lowering his head to hers.

I could get used to getting this kind of wakeup call in a morning, thought Tosh, as Owen slipped his open lips over her, his tongue sliding into her haven.

He used the advantage he had, and his upper limb strength to position her flush against his body. One thing he hadn't taken into account was the reaction male sex organs automatically had to mornings. Also known as 'morning glory'. Also something he hadn't encountered since awaking from his coma. As he realised, Toshiko encountered his rather large problem gasping with mild shock, but continuing to respond to his kiss.

His hands hadn't moved, but hers did. Mirroring each other they trailed a blazing trail of heat down his chest to his flat stomach. There they separated; one hand going down his right hip, caressing his buttock, while the second hand feathered his t-shirt, using two fingers to slowly draw it up, away from his abs.

Once raised enough, the hand reached up under his t-shirt, touching bare skin. Submersing herself in the feel of skin on skin contact she used her whole hand to touch as much of his stomach and chest as she could, space and fabric permitting.

As her fingertips made contact with his skin he contracted his abs.

He stopped all form of thought and rode the sensations Tosh created. Given free rein his instincts kicked into play he groaned pulling her closer, trapping her hand between them. His tented shorts dug into his thigh, making her even more aware of him.

Owen opened one eye, as he continued to kiss her. He judged the distance of her body from the end of the bed, judging it to be too little, before he rolled onto his back, taking Tosh with him. Toshiko had no idea about the move and squealed. He rolled a second time so she was flat on her back, underneath him.

She opened her panted thighs to allow him a place to kneel. Owen used one knee wedging it high between her thighs. Toshiko immediately used her groin muscles to grip his thigh. His other thigh he placed outside her leg, to stabilise himself.

They were both hot and panting. Owen's erection became harder swelling with each groan Tosh emitted, each move she made, every touch under his shirt. He wanted it off. The restrictive shorts gone too! His hands started to move, his whole body weight leaned on her. From her waist he caressed her, shifting his hands up towards the underside of her breast. His lips parted from open mouthed kisses to trail to her neck.

Nipping, licking and blowing air down and around her neck, across her shoulder, the only skin he could touch. He used one hand to pop each button of her shirt open. She gasped as the warmed air hit her exposed flesh. The wandering hand parted the soft fabric, giving him more skin to work on. His head moved back down to her best, covering every inch of flesh with his lips and tongue.

As his lips touched lace his tongue snaked underneath it, cherishing the sensitive skin held there. Again, she gasped but louder.

Owen's mind had shifted to carnal animal mode. Unthinking hands and mouth evoking raw pleasure in his mate.

Desperation clawed at him as Tosh pulled him tighter to her. His hand tore down to her trousers. He fought with her button, eventually winning before fighting with the zipper. His mouth dispensed with flirting with her lace bra, going to the bulls-eye, latching his hot mouth to one distended nipple. She arched her back off the bed in pleasure.

His hand slipped inside her trouser opening delving to the crux between her legs, feeling moisture transfer from her panties to his finger. It nearly drove him over the edge as he tore across the fabric, pushing it aside until he felt her flesh press against his fingertips. She sucked in a breath as he parted her folds with two fingers. He searched briefly for her pleasure centre.

Upon locating it he used the juices covering his fingers to draw pleasure layer upon layer out from her body's depths. He skilfully rubbed the secreted button several times, synchronising his mouth's sucking pressure on her nipple to the movement of his fingers.

The pressure built within her, starting from her toes, moving up to just behind her belly button. She used her t-shirt hand to tweak his nipple. As his hand worked her, she latched her hands to the sides of his head, tugging not so gently on his hair.

She was struggling to hold herself together.

Roughly Owen opened her further, raising one of her thighs moving it to the side of his body, sticking her foot into the base of his back for purchase.

He increased the pressure of his fingers over her centre, increasing the tempo. She fell apart in his arms. A wail of emotion spilled from her throat in a hoarse cry.

Her whole body clenched around his fingers, body bowing upwards. He unlatched himself from her breast to swallow her sounds of pleasure from her mouth.

Tosh's body went limp, her head crashed a small distance to the pillows. Her eyes were closed as her body recovered from the battering of sensual pleasure it had just taken.

Discretely Owen removed his hand in an effort to restore her modesty, righting her clothing. He moved to her side, resting head on hand, watching her recovery.

She sucked in a deep breath, helping to right her body's systems. Opening her eyes she saw only ceiling in her line of vision. With much effort she tilted her head to see Owen fazing at her.

"That was...," she began.

"I could tell."

"Thought you'd had no idea about...that?"

"It just clicked. I stopped thinking and everything just fell into place."

"That was the best...ever," Tosh complimented.

"I always knew you'd be good, but..."

Tosh rolled onto her side fully, nodding her head to indicate Owen's still engorged manhood.

"Just watching you break apart like that was pleasure enough for me."

Tosh tilted her gaze downward to his shorts.

"But what about you?" she asked.

"I'll be fine. A cold shower will do me the world of good."

"But-"

"Another time. It was a wonderful way to start the morning – watching your fingers clench the sheets, throwing your head back in undulated pleasure as you-" Owen teased.

"-I get the idea!" wailed Tosh, lightly hitting him in the arm.

"I'm going to get that shower. Why don't you see what Ianto stocked my fridge with for breakfast, then you can shower?"

"Okay," said Tosh, feeling a little self conscious. She looked down at her squiffy buttons and trouser button undone. Not quite a wanton, but not far off, she thought.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

They pottered the morning away, showering and eating breakfast. Tosh had put the large living room television onto a national news channel, setting the volume to a low rumble in the background.

Tosh had felt a little uncomfortable when Owen had entered the room, freshly washed and dressed. His cheeks held a rosy glow, which made him look somewhat younger.

Tosh was able to gather together the ingredients necessary for a filling breakfast after some searching. They had orange juice, a bit of fruit, and she cooked some poached eggs with toast. She'd reasoned with herself that it wasn't often Torchwood employees had the time, or inclination for breakfast, so if they were going to eat, it might as well be something healthy.

Before Owen had dressed, Tosh had managed to find a hair-band, to make herself a little more presentable.

They ate breakfast in reasonable companionship, talking about the weather and the television they had watched part of the night before.

Once finished, Owen stood and cleared the dishes before Toshiko could move.

"I can do that Owen."

"You cooked, I clean."

"Since when?" slipped out Tosh before she could pull the words back. Shocked and surprised, Tosh's hand raised to her lips, almost unable to comprehend why now she'd developed insulting Turret's.

"What? Did I not do this?"

"Complete opposite. In fact," Tosh elaborated, now she was in full swing, "you always teased and made demands on Ianto to clean up your mess. And you aren't the tidiest person there ever had been."

"But this flat...it's spotless. No mess or clutter."

"Cleaner, twice a week, and we barely have enough time to sleep in our own bed, let alone time to mess up a flat this size."

"That answers that then."

Lapsing into silence Owen continued to wash the crockery by hand. Tosh found a tea towel from a drawer she'd searched earlier cutlery. She took a place next to Owen's left side at the wash board and proceeded to dry the dishes and eating irons, placing them back into cupboards and drawers as she went.

"You can grab a shower if you want one," said Owen.

Tosh realised with a blush that she had no clothes or toiletries. Owen made the same realisation before she could answer.

"I can get you some clothes to change into. They'd be a bit big for you, but at least they'd be clean," he blurted.

"Erm...," she hesitated.

"Then we could head over to your place and you could change?"

Tosh took a quick minute to make her decision before she abandoned the rest of the sudsy dishes to use the bathroom. As she walked away Owen promised her he'd set some clothes out on the bed for when she'd finished.

Owen was sorely tempted to stay in his bedroom and wait for Tosh to finish. So he could glimpse a better view of her petite body. He'd been very tempted to invite her to join him in his earlier shower, but he hadn't felt ready.

His mind's subconscious conjured up an image of a shower scene of one of his favourite show – Grey's Anatomy; where a male character walks in on three female friends in the shower, only in his day dream, there was just Tosh, inviting him to wash her body with his hands. Surrounded by steam that dampened her hair around the edges of her face.

Owen shuddered but smiled at the memory – that was the best episode of the entire show!

Reluctantly he left the bedroom, returning to the sink to finish the last of the cleaning.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The shower was a revelation compared to what she had back at her flat. The facet dripped and the water pressure was well below par. Owen's shower on the other hand was one of those power showers that could almost blast any dirty or grim from your skin in 3 seconds. She returned back to the living room all shiny and clean, in a deep blue t-shirt that swamped her, leaving doubt as to her gender, and a pair of black cargo trousers she'd rolled the legs and the waistband up on, in an attempt to get them to fit better.

Owen couldn't help but laugh when he saw her. She looked like a small child in adult dress up clothes. He spluttered in an attempt to halt his outburst. Tosh maintained her position in the doorway, moving her hands onto her hips and raising one eyebrow; Vulcan style, which only made Owen laugh harder. His laughter became infectious and eventually she lost her composure and laughed along with him.

They both stood there, doubled over, until they were able to regain their composure. Owen was forced to wipe away moisture that had gathered in the corner of his eyes.

"Now we've gotten that out of the way, what do you want to do today?" asked Tosh, slightly out of breath.

Owen looked her straight in the eye and said, "First we need to get you some Tosh sized clothes, because I don't think my abdomen can handle another attack of laughter like that. Second, I think I should get to see where we work. As you said, it appears we both spend an inordinate amount of time there, so it stands to reason that that would be the best placed to get the rest of my memories back."

For a second, Tosh thought, then replied, "I'd need to pass it by Jack first, but if you feel up to it, I don't see it as much of a problem, as long as you don't overdo it."

"I don't remember being a Doctor, so I believe there'll be little chance of overdoing it."

Tosh drove to her flat, with Owen in the passenger seat. It seemed the safest option given events over the last month. He couldn't even remember if he could drive or not. It was certainly safer to wait for his memory to return.

Tosh had briefly spoken to Jack who agreed Owen could come to the Hub, but designated Tosh as his carer. Jack outlined that Owen was to be supervised at all times when in the Hub, and he wasn't allowed near a computer terminal, just as a precautionary measure, Jack had explained, in case he touched something he shouldn't. He'd also told Tosh she was not to attempt to do any work, but to push Owen into recovering the rest of his memory.

Tosh had agreed to the terms, reluctantly, even though she was desperate to immerse herself in some complicated equations to give herself a rest from thinking about this 'situation' between Owen and herself.

Within minutes of Tosh hanging up they were on their way across town to pick up a change of clothes.

Owen wanted to follow Tosh up to her flat, when she pulled up in front of a two storey building, but had a slightly greater desire to see where he worked. There would be other opportunities to see how she lived. The knickknacks, photographs, decoration...bedroom, but he stowed the almost overwhelming urge, opting to amuse himself in the car.

Tosh wasted no time changing her clothing, remembering to place both her new and old outfits in the washing machine and turning it on, before she left.

She threw on some casual clothes; loose fitting tailored slacks and a scoop necked cotton top. Re-straightening her ponytail she rapidly applied some very light makeup., and shot down stairs to the car in record time.

Conversation was sparse as they flowed along in the mid morning traffic, as Owen had tuned the radio into a station he liked the sound of 'XFM', which played mainly rock and indie music.

Unconsciously they both hummed to a well known rock tune. Tosh laughed softly when she realised. She hadn't known, nor would she have suspected they enjoyed some of the same music.

Tosh followed the signs for 'Cardiff Bay' and pulled up in an underground car park behind the Wales Millennium centre.

"Any of this looking familiar Owen?" asked Tosh as she reversed into a bay.

"Bits and pieces. Especially that pretentious water tower. The one with all the mirrors?"

"Good, that's good. Anything particular about the tower come to mind?"

"No. Not yet."

Without saying anything else they exited the car, Tosh leading the way to Mermaid Quay and along the Roahl Dahl Plas, to a small door labelled with an equally small 'Tourist Office' sign. The door opened easily under her hand, and she stopped when Owen closed the door.

Ianto stood behind the wooden desk, anticipating customers. He smiled widely when he saw Owen trail in after Tosh.

"Morning Tosh, Owen. How are you doing? Jack said you'd be in at some point."

Tosh was unsurprised Jack had informed Ianto. Owen answered he was doing well, that he'd learned a lot in the last 24 hours. Tosh blushed softly as he spoke, and ever the observant, Ianto picked up on it, storing that particular conversation away for another time.

"You'll be wanting to head on down then," replied Ianto, palming the hidden button that revealed a hidden doorway leading to the hub.

Again Toshiko led the way down the stairway to the depths of the building. At the last step Tosh turned to prepare Owen.

"I realise you may have thought we work in a normal office, but we don't. I don't want you to get too overwhelmed, but when the door opens you will find something...not office-like."

"Oookay," said Owen, not quite sure what she was trying to prepare him for. He hadn't really thought about the type of environment they worked in. When the word Doctor was mentioned, he thought that there would be somewhere clean looking and sanitary, while being coloured a sparkling white colour. From all the possibilities Owen had thought about, nothing could have prepared him for the sight behind the door.

Tosh pressed the button, and the cog door rolled open to reveal a grimy, spacious wonderland, of sorts. Owen felt like he'd morphed into Alice from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, when she climbed down the rabbit hole. His feet worked on autopilot, guiding him over the threshold. His brain didn't know where to direct his eyes first. They tried to gather unlimited amounts of information all at the same time. His brain slowed to process it all sufficiently, meaning his mouth refused to move. To get a better view, his head pivoted on its axis, up, down, left and right.

Tosh just held her position by his side, observing Owen's facial expressions, letting him absorb as much detail as he could.

Gwen hung back at her desk, watching events unfolds. As Owen had no recollection of where he worked, Gwen sympathised with his astonishment in the facility they worked in. She had wanted to see how he was doing, but Jack had asked her to give him some time and space to get reacquainted with every aspect of his forgotten life. So she'd stayed away when he'd been released from hospital, and stayed seated now he was at the hub. She pretended to work while keeping a covert eye on them the threesome surrounding Owen.

"How are you doing Owen?" asked Tosh quietly, breaking the silence.

Owen moved his mouth but no sound left it. He also looked a little shaky on his feet so Tosh moved towards him, but found herself beaten by Jack who grabbed Owen around the waist to support him, gently guiding him to the only sofa in the place. Owen's knees collapsed as the backs of his calves touched the furniture.

Tosh was unsure of what to do to help him, but Jack had it covered, already kneeling by Owen's side.

"It's a little hard to take first time round. We all understand. Maybe you should go back with Tosh and we'll try this another day?" Jack said with just a hint of challenge, knowing Owen, memory problem or not, would refuse to back down from anything if it meant he looked bad.

"I'm fine. I just-this was-I never imagined this," Owen replied with determination edging his voice, rising to the Jack's bait.

"You'll get used to it," answered Jack. He turned to look at Tosh before he suggested she take Owen on the grand tour. Jack also suggested Owen may feel less overwhelmed if he missed out meeting their 'pets'. Tosh knew Jack spoke about Janet and Myfanwy.

As if she knew she was being talked about, Myfanwy screeched a greeting from the high rafters of the Hub. She waddled towards the edge of her nest, unfurling her wings, hopping from one foot to another before she launched herself over the nest's edge, taking flight.

Hearing the ear piercing screech Owen couldn't help aiming his gaze towards the ceiling. His jaw dropped, Ianto rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, Jack wiped a hand over his face and Tosh just cringed.

"That's a dinosaur! A real pterodactyl! That's amazing!" Owen stood from his seat to try and get a clearer look at the animal.

None of the people surrounding Owen would have guessed that he had a love for Dinosaurs. He was so excited about the creature that he begged Tosh to let him see it up closer. In that instant Owen turned from a scared little boy into an excited one. After a reluctant and surprised exchange of silent looks between Tosh and Jack, Tosh guided Owen towards the lift that shot them to a level below the balcony.

"How come you have a dinosaur?"

"It's a long story."

"Tell me! You never mentioned one before."

"It's not really the sort of thing you can jump into discussing with someone that has a brain injury," answered Tosh snappishly.

"Okay! I was only asking...What's its name?" asked Owen, still in awe of the dinosaur, oblivious to Tosh's mood.

"Myfanwy. Ianto named her, and captured her with Jack, before Jack employed him. It wasn't their first meeting, but they do do things differently."

"I'm guessing she's reasonably tame? Being that we're going to see her."

"Yes, but she likes you, especially when you bring her a treat. She tolerates Gwen and I, and loves Ianto and Jack."

"She feels threatened by you. A female to female instinct thing?"

"Correct. Wanna say hello?"

They climbed the stairs to the rafters. Owen saw Myfanwy had constructed her nest of large branches, some soil, leaves big enough for the bird like creature to fit comfortably; and there was a small cupboard sat against a narrow wall. The cupboard held Myfanwy's favourite treat. Tosh handed Owen a small foil wrapped dark chocolate bar.

"Chocolate?" asked Owen, surprised it wasn't filled with meat cuts.

"Better not to ask," Tosh replied.

Owen busied himself opening the wrapper then asked how he should proceed.

Tosh put her fingers to her lips, adjusted them, then let out a shrill whistle.

All was silent until they felt a gust of wind from a pair of wings, blow them both back a step, and she landed gracefully gripping the edge of the nest. Myfanwy peered through the gap they still stood, tilting her head at different angles, waiting expectantly after being called.

"Wow," whispered Owen.

"Hold one hand out in front of you and place the bar flat on your palm. Make sure your fingers are straight. Extend your arm out. Slowly walk towards her, and when you're halfway stop. Let her come to you."

"Will you stay with me?" asked Owen. Owen looked her directly in the eyes, "I'm a bit nervous."

Looking back at the dinosaur, Owen kept his eyes on her, holding one hand out, as Tosh had instructed. His other hand, Owen extended behind him, inviting Tosh to take hold for moral support and courage.

Tosh took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Let's go."

Slowly, so as not to startle her, Owen steadily stepped forward, towards Myfanwy.

Continuing their slow journey, Owen adjusted his position on Tosh's hand, preferring to lace their fingers. Tosh didn't want to distract him, so left her fingers where they'd been placed. She saw they had moved to almost halfway, so squeezed his fingers tightly once.

"And now?" murmured Owen, from barely parted lips, as he understood her signal and stopped walking.

"We wait."

Raising her beak in the air, as if smelling the chocolate scent, Myfanwy shook out her wings, aligning them back into her body and waddled forward a couple of steps.

"Just stay relaxed, and don't flinch or she'll nip you."

Owen gripped her hand tighter, as Myfanwy determinedly tilted to the right and gently picked up the chocolate bar from Owen's palm. She threw her beak skywards so the chocolate moved down her gullet, then, as quick as a flash she softly nipped his index finger and jumped off the edge of the nest back into the air.

Tosh, still holding his hand guided him back into the passageway that held the chocolate cupboard.

Owen followed her lead, trying to keep the bird in his eye-line.

When Tosh stopped, Owen spun round quickly to face her. He sported a pure smile of delight.

"That was amazing. I loved it. Thank you!" replied Owen, adrenalin and excitement coursing through his body. Using their joined hands Owen pulled Tosh towards his body, enveloping her with his arm. The hug was brief, but Owen pulled away slowly, savouring the imprint her body left on his.

The adrenalin, still visible in his system if you looked into his eyes, pushed him to stop her moving too far away. The chemical heightened his senses, pushing him to gaze into her face, trace the outline of her lips with his eyes. His reaction showed in the large size of his pupils, the increase in his heart rate, and the tightening of his hands on her hand and arm.

Tosh found she was mesmerised by the intent look on his face.

"Thank you," Owen whispered, repeating himself, unable to control leaning forward, tilting his head slightly to one side, unconsciously imitating Myfanwy. A millimetre away from placing his lips to hers he stopped, the gentleman hidden inside seeking her permission. As she didn't move, he took that as permission, and flesh joined flesh.

There was a tenderness that hadn't been present in their brief foreplay last night. Owen was still very masterful in his ministrations, deepening the kiss, opening her mouth, so he could slid his tongue inside her warm, velvety soft mouth.

Owen untangled their hands so he could bring their bodies into alignment rocking his pelvis slightly to increase body contact.

One step back, and Tosh was wedged between Owen and the chocolate cabinet, supporting her. The jolt of her back hitting the metal sent her forwards, straining towards Owen's body, increasing their contact further.

Owen changed the angle of the kiss, falling deeper into the sensations she elicited, sinking back into her. One hand tunnelled into her loosely styled hair. His thumb stopped along her jaw line, stroking across her cheek while his fingers caressed her neck, sweeping down the slope of her neck.

His hand absorbed her body's increase in temperature as his hand brushed the surface around the angle of her neck, across her shoulder.

He desperately needed to catch his balance and breathe, after becoming intoxicated with the delicate woman pressed up against him. Owen's trailing hand moved to touch the cold metal cupboard to sober up his senses.

Cold metal, silver, covered with deep red blood splatters. The screeching and large wing span of a pterodactyl. Running for his life, a woman with black hair, Gwen, pressed against him by her body weight and gravity. Owen felt his feelings for her nothing more than lust for an attractive woman. The memory surged over him in waves, making him breathless and panicky. He gasped for oxygen and pulled back from Tosh, and the heat of her aroused body.

Her eyes, slowly opened as she came down from the clouded physical awareness she had been riding, became slits as her pupils, returned to their rightful size, as light hit her eyes.

Mindless of his expanding manhood he sucked breath after breath in making vague sense of the images his brain had chosen this minute to impart to him.

"A metal woman? Myfanwy? Lots of blood and a dark red light. Running for my life? Is any of that real?" he demanded, out of frustration and a need to know answers.

Tosh caught her breath.

"It's a complicated story, but yes it's real."

"Metal people?"

"They're called Cybermen," Tosh sighed and put some pressure against Owen's chest to give her some space. Did they really have to have this conversation now? When things had been so...heated. Owen gave her the room she required, so she continued with what she was going to say.

"They use human beings, replace their limbs and organs with mechanical replicas, before enhancing their brain to remove all traces of emotion or sense of pain that they class as weakness. Listen, it's probably better to talk about this another time, when we're more...under control."

Confused y the visions he'd been subjected to and feeling emotionally and sexually frustrated Owen cleared a bigger gap separating them. He desperately wanted to find out more of his flashback, but knew now wasn't the time or place.

"Tonight? We can eat and you can tell me all you can about what I saw."

Wide eyed, Tosh just nodded, swiftly changing the subject, struggling for control herself.

"Why don't you head down and see if Ianto has any coffee for us?"

"Black, one sugar right?"

"Yeah. Did you-"

"Remember? Apparently so."

"And the rest?"

"Not yet," he replied with a sigh and made a move to the stairs. He noticed that she wasn't following him down so said, "Aren't you coming down?"

"I've got to check something, but I'll see you down there."

Owen said a vague goodbye, the tension between them almost vibrant with sexual longing.

Once sure he was out of sight, Toshiko sank down the cabinet doors crouching against it, in despair.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Head in hands, she despaired over the way things were working out with Owen. She had thought she could press on with some form of a friendship/relationship with the new Owen, the fresh, slate wiped clean Owen, but the more time they spent together, the more she fell desperately in love with him. That meant she couldn't consciously do more harm to herself by sleeping with him, breaking her heart when he remembered how he really felt for her, and what he thought of her before his accident. The problem she had was that when he was close she had no resistance against him, no power to prevent him touching, caressing, kissing her, as if he loved her. It didn't really help matters that he was unable to progress past a kiss, because he panicked because of his lack of memory about such things.

She felt frustrated tears fill her eyes, and used the heel of her hand to prevent them from falling, rubbing them away from her cheeks. The sound of footsteps up the stairs caused her to jump to her feet, straightening her hair and clothing, drying the slight dampness still present around her eyes.

The footfalls sounded heavily booted, and she sighed with relief it wasn't Owen. Owen wasn't so heavy footed. She didn't think she had the resolve to see him at this moment anyway.

"Tosh?" sounded a soft but deep American accent, "Are you still up here?"

"Over here," her shoulders slumping in relief at the intruder.

Jack popped his head around the corner. One look at her and the despair on her face, and he opened his arms to her. She didn't hesitate to take up his offer, as she flew into his arms, burying her tear streaked face into his shoulder. Her shoulder shook with force in an attempt not to break down completely in front of her boss.

"Ah, Toshiko! What are we going to do with you?" Jack hugged her harder, but tried to diffuse her current mood with a little mood, "You both know how to give me something lusty and passionate to watch. You could put a video on youtube and it would thousands of hits"

Tosh's head shot up to look at him, as she stood enclosed in Jack's arms. Jack pulled his head backwards so she could see him properly. Inside Jack was laughing at her expression, but his features remained compassionate.

"Relax! You weren't to know I installed a special Ianto cam. It's only on when Ianto's up here normally, but I wanted to make sure you were both okay," he confessed, without a shred of remorse.

"Got more than you bargained for?" Tosh boasted with false bravado, seeing the funny side of Jack's deception. She wondered what Ianto would say if he ever found out.

"You know I did!"

Knowing that Jack would have heard and seen everything that had happened between Owen and herself, Tosh launched straight into conveying the thoughts spinning around her skull.

"What can I do, Jack? If I continue like this and his memory returns, he'll hate me and I'd have no option but to leave, because working here would be too hard. Owen remembered something while we were up here. He remembered when Lisa attacked the Hub."

Jack fell silent for a minute, thinking about his answer to her statement. Not really the best thing to remember while you were kissing someone else. Jack had seen Owen approach Ianto moments before, so had a feeling that Owen would talk to him about it.

"Yeah, he's more than likely telling Ianto about it now. It's probably better to talk the whole thing through with Ianto. It would give Owen a better view of what happened."

Jack released Tosh and they sat on the floor, backs leaning against the cabinet. She needed a sounding board, and Jack was the next best thing to Ianto, her best friend, so she spilled all to Jack. Jack, to his credit, was a good listener. He left all his questions until the end, and seemed to 'um' and 'ah' in the right places.

"You love him," said Jack in honest response to her frank truths, "we've all known for a while. Just waiting for you to come to terms with it, and for Owen to realise it."

"He doesn't even know I exist," she said exasperatedly.

"He didn't, but he does know. I saw the way he held your hand earlier. The way he asks your advice on decisions before anyone else."

"But he's still injured."

"And you think those feelings will just disappear? Taken over by his old personality and pre-misconceptions. If anything, this experience will open his eyes to someone he'd had them blinkered to for a long time."

"Jack. I'm scared."

"Anyone would be. It's a daunting prospect, but you have to trust he'll make the right decision. And if he doesn't then you'll have two friends, at your back, to lean on. If things fall through then I could be persuaded to retcon him."

Tosh laughed at the comment, as her thoughts had turned in that direction not long ago.

"Feel better?"

"Yes. Thank you, Jack."

"Anytime. That goes for both me and Ianto."

"Does Ianto know about the secret camera?" Jack smirked and avoided her direct eye line.

"What do you think?"

"Interesting."

"Will you keep it a secret?"

"For you Jack? Of course, but could you not watch Owen and I in future?"

"Depends if you chose to tangle tongues directly in front of a hidden camera, doesn't it?" Jack joked, "Though if I'm permitted to say so, Owen has some fine moves on him. Those hips and lips? If you want my advice, get as much as you can now, while you can! Before things do or don't change. Live in the now! That's all we have, when we work for Torchwood."

"Is that what you're doing with Ianto?"

"You mean, what Ianto's doing with me?"

Owen was still tripping over his emotions as he descended to the Hub. After unknowingly being the centre of Jack and Ianto's thoughts, Owen was surprised to see Ianto exactly where Tosh said he would be; next to the coffee machine. Owen missed seeing Jack's signal to Ianto from the other side of the Hub, that he was heading up to the nest to talk to Tosh.

"Owen! Coffee?"

"What do I normally have?"

"Coffee, white, one sugar."

"Okay, I'll go with that."

Ianto busied himself with the coffee machine, steaming milk and using Owen's favourite mug. Owen found the couch and dumped himself at one end.

Ianto brought two mugs over and took the other seat next to Owen.

"How'd your meeting go with Myfanwy?" Ianto asked, sipping his cup. He didn't just want to jump straight into personal matters. It just wasn't his style. Jack had told him about what had transpired near the nest.

"Oh, she was great. I gave her some chocolate. I'm assuming the nip was a thank you?"

"If it didn't hurt, then yes."

"So why Myfanwy? It's not a normal name, even for a dinosaur."

"She reminded me of my old dog. I used to feed him bits under the table at home, and he'd nip me to say thank you. Tosh told you I named her?"

"She said you captured her, with Jack's help. That's how you got the job here."

"It's true. I found her in a warehouse, and enrolled Jack to help capture her."

"And she killed a Cyberman?"

Ianto turned sharply to look at Owen.

"You remember that?"

"Yes. I-we were-it...I saw fragments of memories, of blood and Myfanwy, and a metal woman fighting, and remember lots of running. Who was she? When did it happen?"

"It happened about a year ago. She was my...girlfriend. I brought her here to try to help her. To fix her, but no one else knew she was here. Something happened and instead of being weak, so I thought, she somehow managed to plug herself into the mainframe power supply and absorbed the Hub's electrical power, trying to convert everyone into what she was. In the end, the only option was to terminate her."

"And Myfanwy?"

"Jack used her to create a diversion so we could escape from a Hub lockdown."

"How did no one else know Lisa was here?"

After some hesitation Ianto spoke softly. It had been almost 12 months since he had died, and he still wasn't quite comfortable talking about it, but he felt he should go back to beginning of his story with Torchwood 2, and his first meetings with Jack.

"I created scenarios so I could meet Jack, become a member of his team, so I could help fix Lisa. For months I was her carer, while working for Torchwood doing my job, mostly because I moved her to an unused work area in the Hub. I became too self assured that I could help her, and so I brought in some outside help. Jack almost didn't forgive me for the betrayal against him and Torchwood. He was appreciative that I was so good at my job, and it helped that he fancied me a bit, but I had destroyed his trust in me completely. It took a long time for me to prove to Jack, and the rest of the team that I belonged here."

"How did she die?"

"Jack wanted me to end it, but in the end I couldn't. I didn't have it in me. So Jack, Gwen, Tosh and you did it for me."

"I'm sorry Ianto."

"It was necessary, and the best thing for her. To stop her suffering. I was ashamed I couldn't do it myself."

Neither man spoke as the story settled around them, giving them both time to think. Then Owen asked a question he'd been afraid to ask Tosh earlier.

"Where's Gwen, and why do I remember kissing her in a body freezer?"

Ianto laughed, breaking the slight tension. A lightness returned to his voice.

"We didn't think she should stay, so she went home."

"And the rest of what I remembered?"

"I have no idea, but as you seem to have remembered the episode along with Myfanwy, I think it was probably around the same time. I do vaguely recall Jack saying you'd both ran off to the medical bay while I was unconscious. Maybe it happened then? What did Tosh say when you told her?"

"She didn't say anything because I didn't."

"Did you remember this before or after you kissed her?"

"After," Owen admitted, as he blushed in shame," how do you know about that kiss?"

"Jack told me. He saw you both on a CCTV camera."

Owen's blush intensified, and even the tips of his ears turned a little shade of pink.

"If the two of you have kissed since the hospital incident, then has anything else happened?" asked Ianto, knowing he sounded nosy but determined to get to the bottom of Owen's feeling.

Owen couldn't look Ianto in the eye.

"Was it last night?" Ianto pestered quietly.

Owen could only nod.

"I'm no mind reader. You'll have to tell me with words if you want to talk about it."

Reluctantly, but seeing no other option to help himself out of his situation, or the dilemma he found himself in with Tosh, Owen told Ianto how events had played out the previous evening. Owen did attempt to save Tosh's reputation by leaving out this morning's encounter.

"Do you think your feelings will change for Tosh when your memory returns?" Ianto asked after Owen had said all he had to say.

"I don't know. I feel strong affection for her. She's all I can think about, but she doesn't want to get hurt. I understand that. Things have moved pretty quickly in a few short days."

"My advice Owen? Your memory is coming back, and it could be days or weeks before you remember who you are. Tell her, in actual words, how you feel before you get your memory back. You could have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

"I'll think about it. Thanks, for talking to me about things. I appreciate it."

Ianto put his coffee mug down, turning again to face Owen.

"Remember what you just said. Remember it when you get your old personality back."

Together they laughed and continued to talk about other things.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"So How did the conversation go? Are you alright?" Jack asked in a rushed breath after everyone had gone home, leaving him and Ianto alone.

"It went okay."

"Are you sure?"

Ianto rolled his eyes, understanding Jack's concern, but preferring not to make a big deal of his discussion with Owen.

"I'm fine Jack. We talked. He remembered Myfanwy fighting Lisa. Every time I talk about it, another weight gets released from my shoulders, I didn't know was held there. Every time I talk about her the pain gets less and less."

Jack threw his arms around Ianto's middle from behind, and buried his face in Ianto's shoulder. Ianto mirrored Jack's arms, folding them atop of Jack's.

He absorbed Jack's warmth and comfort for several moments, then spoke.

"He loves her. He's mesmerised by the speed of their relationship and is respecting Tosh's wishes to be friends."

"Tosh loves him, but is scared he'll change his feelings when he remembers who he is. She has a right to be scared, but sometimes we need to live in the now. Not the what if's."

"Yep. So what should we do? Should we do anything? I don't want to see either of them hurt."

"We could give them a few days to acclimate to being back here, then set them up."

"A word in Owen's ear, and I believe he'd do anything for her, to make her happy."

"So we're agreed? Leave them be for a bit, then get to work getting them together?"

Jack nodded his agreement, his lips catching the skin on Ianto's neck, about the shirt collar. He tightened his hold and used his mouth to blaze a warm, moist trail up to his ear, and down to the collar.

They were in for an interesting evening.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

As awkward as their departure from Owen's apartment had been earlier in the day, Toshiko was too nice a person to cast aside Owen in his time of need. He had no vehicle, and couldn't walk, so, as she had been the one to bring him she was obliged to take him back. After her talk with Jack, she just wanted some time to herself to evaluate things, but swallowing her pride, she ignored today's events as she offered him a ride to his apartment.

"Do you want to come up and eat?" Owen asked, as Tosh pulled up in front of his building. They hadn't said a lot on the journey over. The afternoon had been taken up with Owen relearning what he kept in all his medical drawers and cabinets. Still he did not feel like a Doctor, not matter how hard he'd wished for it.

Toshiko had busied herself with some software upgrades on the computers. After the morning she'd had, Jack had gone back on his word and allowed her to get away from Owen for a little while. Ianto had been put forward again to 'babysit'.

"I'm not sure-," she replied, refusing to look anywhere but through the windshield.

"Pizza, maybe some ice cream, if I can dig some out of the freezer. Finish off watching that television show?" Owen tried his hardest to tempt her into staying.

"Well...," she could feel her shields slowly break apart. She had no power to say no when she was in close proximity to him.

"We can talk, just talk...or not talk? Whichever works," Owen sounded more than desperate to spend time with her.

And so she caved in. She followed Owen to his apartment, ate pizza and ice cream, washed down with lemonade. They watched TV and Owen asked more questions about Myfanwy and the Hub. Toshiko left around 10pm for home.

The next day was much the same as the day before. Tosh picked Owen up and they spent the day at the Hub. Toshiko spent the evening at Owen's apartment with food and TV. This was the norm, creation of a routine that Tosh and Owen settled into for about a week, before things progressed on, as they were prone to doing.

Over those few days Owen thought good and hard about what he felt, what Ianto had spoken to him about, and his memories; the little he had. There seemed no sign of more memories, as he hadn't had a flashback or dream since he'd last kissed Tosh.

The increased exposure to each other's quirks and habits intensified his feelings. Day by day his love deepened for her, and Ianto's words rang around in his head. Owen made his decision to declare his feelings, romancing her along the way.

One morning after his usual trip in with Tosh, Owen hunted for Ianto. He couldn't find him in the Tourist Office, or main Hub, so he asked Jack, who immediately answered "Archives, between M & N."

It still astonished Owen that Jack knew were everyone was. Astonished or felt creepy...one of the two.

Owen walked off to find Ianto, buried behind cabinet after cabinet of old case files and alien machinery, exactly where Jack had indicated he'd be. Owen had had a lot of time in the last week to explore all parts of the Hub, including extensive walking around the old, and new files Torchwood had gotten through since its creation 142 ago.

"Ianto?" Owen bobbed and weaved through the alphabetised cabinet rows.

"Ianto?" he called, slightly louder.

"Back here," called a muffled, welsh voice.

Owen followed the sound until he came across a somewhat dishevelled and dusty Ianto.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Must be important if you couldn't wait 'til I came back."

"I'm in love, and need to tell her. In a romantic way. I don't know if I'm a romantic, but I want to be, and want you to help. You know her better than me, so I thought you could help me."

"So you took my advice. Well done Owen. Congratulations."

"Will you help?"

"Of course I will. Do you know what you want to do to woo her?"

"Well...not really. I kind of thought a real, home cooked meal? Maybe at her place. Though I don't know how she'd feel about that. And I don't know how I'll get in."

"Okay, so this is what we'll do...,"


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

So it was set.

Ianto had a swift discussion with Jack following Owen's dramatic confession, and Jack gave Ianto his copy of Tosh's apartment key. Ianto asked Jack to keep Tosh busy while they prepared things, if things were to remain a surprise. That also meant that Jack would have to concoct a story as to why Owen didn't need a left back to his flat, if she asked.

They snuck out of Jack's office the back way to stay undetected. Ianto promised Jack he would stay in contact, and advise him of what needed doing and when by text message.

Ianto drove across town in the direction of Tosh's building, as he'd been there many times before, a list running through his mind of the things he needed to prepare, organise and buy.

As Ianto opened the Tosh's door with the borrowed key, Owen got his first real look at where Tosh spent her off hours. Cream and green merged on walls separated by a thin oak coloured wooden rail around the whole room. It was spacious and minimalistic, so like his own place, but he'd assumed right about the photo frames of family, and small ornaments.

Earlier Ianto and Owen had discussed a food menu for tonight's evening meal, and both had decided on a chicken dish; simple but tasty. Ianto appointed himself as food purchaser, and Owen told Ianto to go with his own personal choice of dessert for Tosh. Owen only knew she liked ice cream, and it wasn't really an appropriate first date dessert.

"Owen! Don't touch anything while I'm gone, alright? I won't be gone long and I'll pick up a change of clothing for you from your apartment. It makes sense to change here, than to go back to yours."

Owen bid Ianto goodbye, and started familiarising himself, without touching, with Tosh's apartment. Owen had a quick thought that Ianto would be unable to get into his apartment, but then he remembered that Jack had a copy, so no doubt there would be no problem.

Wandering through the living room into the kitchen, Owen spied the fridge with notes, lists and several photographs stuck to the door. On closer inspection, Owen saw one photo hidden behind a shopping list. He recognised the hair style poking into the pale blue sky of the background, and the shape of the person's forehead. Carefully Owen slid the photo from beneath the magnet.

A picture of himself and Tosh, out in the wilderness somewhere. They both looked younger than they did now; less wear around the eyes, more laughter and carefree of spirit.

They sat next to each other, not touching but were positioned relatively close. Wind swept through Tosh's hair, blowing strands into the air, and across her face in the stilled frame.

After studying it for an inordinate amount of time, he slid it into his pocket. Focussing back on the task at hand, Owen started to search cupboards and drawers, searching for the appropriate cutlery and crockery one might use to seduce the woman he loved.

He found her dining room table hidden beneath some paperwork, so he carefully moved them to a safe place, reminding himself that he'd have to tell her where he'd placed her belongings.

He took his time moseying around her stuff, pulling some tea lights out of the back of a drawer, placing them in, what he thought were strategic romantic places.

"I brought you a suit and some toiletries, so you can shower here before getting ready," said Ianto as he pulled himself through the doorway of Tosh's flat an hour later.

"Thank you," replied Owen, as he stood in the centre of the room, unsure how to help Ianto, as he manhandled several plastic bags and a suit bag into the kitchen.

"You're welcome. You should grab that shower now, while I start preparing the food."

"Erm...," Owen was slightly overwhelmed by Ianto's thoughtfulness and organisational skills. It looked like he'd thought of everything they could possibly need.

"Do you remember how to cook?" Ianto cast a critical eye over Owen, looking for his inner chef no doubt.

"No. Well, not specific dishes-"

"I thought not. You're going to be better off away from here, let me get things sorted out."

"Are you-," Owen felt slight guilt that his romantic preparations were going to be Ianto's doing. Ianto sensed that Owen was feeling shame at not being able to handle his romantic life without a little help, so he reassured him.

"You'll be able to do this yourself once things go back to normal, and in return, if it makes you feel better you could be the waiter for an evening with me and Jack, one evening."

Owen relaxed and scoffed, "Not bloody likely."

"There's a slice of the Owen we've been without. Anyway, you should go! The sooner you shower and change, the quicker you can help me put dessert together."

"Erm...what is for dessert?" Owen felt a spark of intrigue over a sweet tooth he never knew he possessed.

"Chocolate torte with Italian vanilla pod ice cream," the bewildered look streaking across Owen's features made Ianto add, "It's her favourite. Trust me!"

"You know her so much better than I do," Owen let slip, a bitter twinge to his voice.

The statement caused Ianto to stop what he was doing and face the man who had become his friend in the last few days.

"Only because she's my best friend, and we spend a lot of time outside of work, having meals and drinks out, to help relax us after a rough day at work . Gives us a change to be normal for a change. Give it time, and you'll know all there is about her."

Owen felt mollified and retreated from the kitchen towards the only shower in the flat; Tosh's bedroom.

Owen heard Ianto shout, over the clatter of pots and pans, "I've hung your outfit up on the back of the bedroom door."

AN HOUR EARLIER

Ianto hesitantly walked into Tosh's bedroom, as Owen took in his surroundings. They'd been in this flat together so many times, some of those times had been in this room, watching her cat walk outfits in preparation for a date, or important event. Most of those times had been in the living room cuddling under a duvet to share warmth on a cold evening in watching a film, but he'd never been in her bedroom alone. He wasn't afraid, just uncertain at the huge invasion of privacy he was about to commit.

He felt a bit like a peeping Tom, as he sifted through her wardrobe, considering a flattering outfit that she would look great in tonight, wowing Owen's socks off. He chose a little black cocktail dress, going more for a traditional look. He'd seen her in this evening dress once before, and he had had to take a second look to check that it was Tosh wearing it. It gave her all the right curves in the right places, with a nice show of leg, without her being misconstrued as easy or cheap. Reluctantly he rifled through her jewellery box and shoe collection to compliment the dress. His other reluctance was finding some lingerie for her to wear underneath the dress. He sent up an apology to anybody listening before he delicately picked his way through the drawer. He chose the most delicate matching set and a pair of silk stockings.

As quickly as he could, Ianto swept out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, retrieving essential toiletries she would need to freshen up from a days work, bundling them all into the dress bag.

As he headed out of Tosh's apartment, leaving Owen to fend for himself, Ianto put a call through to Jack.

"I need you to meet me in the Tourist Office, alone, in about 10 minutes. Watch for me on the Tourist Office CCTV."

"Ah...a secret rendezvous?" Jack's purr filled his ears. Typical Jack, thought Ianto, always thinking below the waist at inappropriate moments during work hours.

"No! I've got a change of clothes for Tosh for this evening, but she can't see you taking it to the showers. If she sees me carrying her stuff, then she will know something is going on, before we can spring the surprise. 8 minutes Jack," and Ianto disconnected the call.

The exchange took place unnoticed by Toshiko, who had her head buried in a book as Jack left his office. Jack tried his upmost to seduce Ianto into a quick grope in the back of the Tourist office, with touch and distraction techniques that Ianto would have normally found quite skilful. Fortunately Ianto was the master of control, and couldn't afford to get distracted, so he concentrated on spelling out the game plan for the evening to Jack.

With the hardest part of his mission successfully completed, leaving Jack to pout over not getting anything for his trouble to keep secrets, Ianto made a leisurely trip to the local supermarket collecting fresh food goods, and prepared for the evening ahead.

BACK IN THE NOW

Ianto gathered the ingredients needed for the main course and set to work. The kitchen became filled with pungent smells that permeated through the rest of the flat.

Owen caught the inviting smells under the bathroom doorway, mixing with the hot steam of his shower. Owen was impressed by Ianto's cooking talent. His mouth unconsciously watered at the smells.

Owen was savouring his alone time in the shower, letting the hot, pounding water rain down on his shoulders, releasing tension he did not know was there. He used the time to help him figure out what he was going to say when he had Toshiko all to himself, but the longer he thought, the more lost he felt. He was having a crisis of confidence and mind block. 20 minutes and his muscles felt loose and limber, yet his mind was going round in circles unable to find the right words.

Wrapping the towel, that Ianto had laid out for him, around his waist, Owen searched through the wash bag to see what Ianto had thought to pack.

Hair gel, shaving balm, a razor, toothbrush, aftershave, condoms...Wait a minute! Did Ianto believe he would need everything in the bag?

Condoms? Ianto was being very presumptuous, but a distant part of Owen's brain called out 'they could have already been in the bag'. They had been tucked away in the bottom of the bag, thought Owen. Owen stopped and took stock, before he launched himself, in a wet towel out the door to have words with his friend.

Personal accounts and stories he'd been told since his accident, all indicative of his promiscuity, and the foil filled packets taking up residence on the bathroom counter would again corroborate that particular part of his personality. Again, the distant part of his brain whispered, 'well at least you always played it safe, no unfortunate accidents that you know of'.

Fantastic, thought Owen, just what I need...a smart assed conscience and condoms. Pushing them back to the bottom of the bag, Owen used the other products and started to dress.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Somehow time seemed to speed up, and the next time Ianto looked up at the clock in the kitchen it was 1830. Time to text Jack, thought Ianto, wasting no time pulling out his phone.

T-MINUS 1HR – GET T DRESSED AND DRIVE HER HOME. LIE TO HER IF U HAVE 2!

I'LL SEE U SOON. I x.

Within minutes Ianto's phone vibrated.

PLAN IS IN MOTION. T VERY CONFUSED. U OWE ME. J x

Smiling at the response, Ianto replied.

O OWES U! BT I'M SURE I CAN CUM UP WITH SOMETHING ;) Ix

The wine was chilling, the dessert and starter were cooling in the refrigerator. Owen was suitably dressed and the place looked great.

Ianto finished washing the last of the pans he'd used, and turned his hand to drying them. He did so hate making a mess.

Owen was anxious for Tosh to arrive and had taken up pacing around the living room floor. Ianto poured two glasses of wine and handed him one.

"Drink! It'll help calm some of those nerves."

"I can't stop!"

To distract him, Ianto got Owen to concentrate on something else.

"Have you thought about what you're going to say to her?"

"I love you?"

"You can't open with that! 'Hi Tosh, you're looking nice and by the way I love you?' Definitely not! Explain why she's here – a romantic date, but don't tell her about my part in it, not unless she specifically asks! Ask her about her day. Tell her she has a nice flat. When the main course is finished with, then you can ease into your declaration."

"Alright," Owen replied uncertainly, trying to remember everything Ianto had just said.

"Jack and I will stay until dessert is served," Ianto continued, "Think of us as your waiters for the evening. I'll leave a second bottle of wine chilling in the fridge if you need it, and I'll leave some coffee for post dessert drinks. The rest, as they say, is up to you!"


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

She heard her name, but it didn't register until at least the fifth or sixth time. Her mind was too full of fractal equations and complex mathematical calculations to worry about someone calling her name. But eventually the sound distracted her enough that she raised her head, eyes attempting to find the source of the repetitive distraction. Jack stood beside her, a concerned look on his face. Tosh blinked twice before she rejoined planet Earth.

"Is something wrong Jack?" she asked, suddenly wondering why Jack would want to distract her. He was the one who had given her this work in the first place. The concern drained from Jack's face as she spoke.

"Yes Toshiko. Its 1830 hours and I see a beautiful woman still slaving away at her desk. You need food and some good company to get you away from work."

"Jack I-"

"I won't take no for an answer. You know where the shower is. You'll find a change of clothes there that I found in your locker, and toiletries. You've got reservations for 1930 hours at an exclusive restaurant, so you need to go get changed now, if we're going to be there in time. Hop to it!"

Maybe a little forcefully, Jack tugged her from her chair, ushering her in the direction of the shower.

Jack quickly replied to Ianto's first text message since seeing him earlier, stating he'd put the plan into motion.

Jack had no problem helping out friends who were obviously in love with each other, but needed a helpful nudge in the right direction; but if Ianto was in charge and issuing orders, then Jack wanted some form of payment for his services, so he added 'U OWE ME' to his text. Ianto's reply shot straight to his groin. Though he did not doubt his friends would enjoy their evening courtesy of Ianto's planning and cooking, Jack had no doubt that he would also be enjoying the after show party with Ianto.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Jack waited and waited for her to appear, and when she did he was taken aback by the sight she presented.

Toshiko Sato looked unbelievably sexy, tall with long shapely legs, accentuated by vicious looking stiletto heels. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and if she was anyone else but an employee and his lover's best friend then he wouldn't have thought twice about seducing her. Jack had never, in all the time he had known her, seen her dressing as she was now. Ianto did indeed have good taste in clothing.

"Toshiko, you look breathtaking."

"Thank you," she replied demurely.

Jack raised her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss there. Jack thought of that move as the start of her romantic evening.

"Jack, I know this dress wasn't left here. It's been in my closet for the last 12 months, and I don't wear silk stockings to work, so what's going on?" she asked. Nothing ever got by her, thought Jack as he sighed inwardly. As quick as he could, Jack attempted to distract her. The best he could come up with was a ridiculous French accent as he got into his character of chauffeur.

"Mademoiselle, pleez follow me zees way to ze car. My name ez Jak and I will be your chauffeur for ze evening."

Keeping her silence, Tosh patiently allowed herself to be escorted out to a small, dark ocean blue coupé. Tosh had never seen the car before, but had always wondered if Jack owned a car that wasn't Torchwood's SUV. Jack opened the door and handed her inside, before getting into the driver's seat and sedately leaving the car park. Jack looked very familiar with the interior settings of the car, so it clearly belonged to him. The journey to...wherever they were heading continued at a sedentary pace.

Jack did not drive sedately. Ianto and Owen had been gone for hours, though she hadn't registered it until she was in the shower. She never left jewellery or 5 inch heels at the Hub, and most certainly did not leave her sexiest underwear at work, especially when they rarely got worn. Something was going on, and she knew exactly who was involved, she just didn't know enough information to have worked out the full story, yet. So she continued to wait patiently on the drive, as it seemed they were heading to a place not far from where she lived. Until, that is, they parked directly outside her flat.

"Jack-," but he was out of the car before he heard her. Maintaining his attentive chauffeur persona, Jack opened the door, and helped maintain her dignity as she exited the vehicle. Diligently he opened the swinging path gat, finally ending with ringing the doorbell.

She went to retrieve her keys, but realised she'd been ushered out without her bag, and therefore couldn't get them inside.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Whatever you do, don't panic," said Ianto as the doorbell chimed, "you pour her a glass of wine, have it ready to give to her when she comes through to the living room, and I'll go answer the front door."

Too flustered to do anything else, Owen moved to pour a glass of wine from the fridge.

As Ianto opened the door he was greeted by Tosh's wide eyed surprise as she looked at her hands, empty of any door keys, and Jack who stood behind her, with a beaming smile.

"Good evening, and welcome to the best place in town," Ianto launched into his long practiced welcome, "I'm Ianto and I'll be your server this evening."

He widened his arms in an 'after you' gesture and moved so she could precede him.

"All will be revealed shortly, if you'd care to come this way," Ianto prompted her, beckoning her through into her own flat.

Reluctant, but seeing no other option, Tosh walked down the narrow passageway, into the living room.

"Nice job on the outfit Ianto," said Jack as he watched her move through the living room door, admiring the way she moved in her dress.

"She does look beautiful," Ianto replied, pride emanating through his sentence.

"You know, if I hadn't met you, and she wasn't in love with Owen, I would've tried to win her over in that dress."

"Good job for everyone then really, because I think you would be too high maintenance for her anyway."

Jack pretended to gasp with shock. Ianto quickly kissed him saying, "Tonight is about them, let's get to work. We can have our fun later."

"You bet your arse we will."

"Yes, sir."

They quickly followed in Tosh's wake to find Owen and Tosh stood in the centre of the living room, wine in hand, staring at each other. Soft instrumental music played in the background, adding an air of romance.

Ianto immediately took charge, as he was determined this evening would go well. Even if the people involved had no idea how dating was supposed to work.

"Why don't you guys take a seat while we finish the first course? Sit, drink, talk."

And so Owen and Tosh were left alone again, while Jack and Ianto put the finishing touches to their first dish.

As they took a seat at opposite ends of the sofa, Owen finally had enough thought to put Ianto's advice to work.

"You look amazing in that dress. Absolutely...amazing," Owen's eyes gave Tosh an approving look.

"Thank you. You look handsome in your suit. I never thought you'd be a three piece suit man with a tie." She was overly impressed with his attire. Never had she imagined that Owen would look so handsome in business clothing.

Blushing for no reason he could think of, Owen replied, "This wasn't my idea. I thought I only possessed jeans and t-shirts."

Tosh took a sip of wine, approving of the taste and sweetness.

"So what's going on here? Don't give me that innocent 'I have no idea what you're talking about' look, because you've been gone all day. I can only think that you and Ianto have been working together to organise this?"

Cornered, both by her look and the tone of her voice, Owen spoke honestly.

"I wanted to do something romantic for you, because you've been so kind and supportive since I woke in that hospital bed. I wanted to thank you, but needed some help. Ianto had been very...accommodating."

"You could have just said thank you-"

"But it wouldn't have meant as much, and I wouldn't have gotten to see you in that dress. This is number one on my list of highlights, of my memory so far."

"I'm not sure if I should feel complimented or-"

"Complimented, definitely complimented," Owen answered hurriedly.

"So what's the master plan then?"

"There isn't one, well maybe to have a good time. Tonight is about you! We'll eat delicious food, drink wine and talk, like I said we would, a few days ago. So far, that's all I have in the way of a plan."

"So Jack was in on this?"

"He had to be," Owen blushed again, "I had trouble finding Ianto this morning, and Jack usually knows where everyone is, so I had to ask for directions to Ianto's whereabouts. I guess then Ianto put Jack in charge of getting you here at the right time."

"Sounds like a lot of planning and organising has gone into this." Tosh stated it. There was no question over the amount of time and thought that had gone into today.

"A bit," Owen answered vaguely, not sure if he should have given an answer.

After that the tension that had been with them since she rang the door bell disappeared. They talked, with a more relaxed air, while Jack and Ianto prepared prawn cocktail in the kitchen.

The first course took very little preparation time, and Ianto had done the majority earlier. He only had to mix the prawns in with the salad and add sauce. Jack peered through a slit in the doorway in an attempt to hear what was going on in the living room.

He's such a child, Ianto thought, disgruntled that he couldn't hear what was being said either.

"Move away from the door! Let them have their privacy," Ianto hissed.

"But-" Jack was stared down by Ianto's gaze, pouting as he stepped away from the door.

"Come and help me put these together, like the waiter you're supposed to be."

"I only signed on for chauffeur duty. You said nothing about waiting on. The cost goes up considerably on the payment you owe me."

"You're talking about sexual favours when we're supposed to be helping one of our own declare his love? You're lucky I don't withdraw sex from the equation completely...and to think I even cooked extra for us to eat in here. Never mind, I'm sure Myfanwy will love this-"

"Ianto, you drive a hard bargain. There's no need to waste good food on her. If you had told me about the food then we would've been even."

"Nice back pedal," Ianto murmured as he put the finishing touches to the cocktails.

With both in hand, Ianto sailed out of the kitchen and delicately placed them at the placemats. Approaching the still talking couple, Ianto cleared his throat and announced the start of their meal.

Owen guided Toshiko to her chair, even going so far as pulling it out for her. Tosh had never felt more treasured in all her life. Ianto disappeared as quietly as he'd arrived and left them to their meal.

"This is lovely, Owen. The nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

"Wait until dessert. It's spectacular!"

The minute she tasted the sauce drizzled over the prawns Tosh knew Ianto was Chef for the evening. She wasn't bothered, as she had no knowledge of Owen's culinary skills, and neither did he presently.

She was touched that Owen had thought to go to so much trouble to say thank you. She treasured each minute in his company, treating it as their last. For large part of her that was enjoying being with Owen this evening there was a small part of her that died a little at every touch, every laugh, or gesture.

Above average food, light conversation and wine created an atmosphere of relaxed happiness they both hadn't felt in some time. There was avoidance at all costs, of talk of memory or past events, instead talk remained in the here and now with Owen asking her what book she was currently reading; did she have a party trick; who had she looked up to growing up?

Ianto did what he did best, removing empty dishes, careful not to disturb the chat of the seated couple. When her glass emptied, Owen refilled it and did the same to his own. Time passed and Ianto returned with their main courses.

They appeared to finally be at ease with one another, neither one thinking about the past of the future, concentrating only on the moment. As discretely as he arrived, he vanished again.

"It's going so well in there," Ianto said as the door closed shut behind him.

"How well?"

"Not making-out well, or holding hands, but they appear to be at ease, smiling, joking. Basically enjoying themselves."

"Do you think they'll end up together? After his memories return?" Jack asked quietly. His hands squaring Ianto's pelvis to his, as Ianto washed the used cocktail glasses.

"I want to believe his feelings are strong enough, but we won't know until it happens. I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt her, but if he does he'll pay."

"Funny, because I told Toshiko something very similar, not long ago."

Jack rested his chin on Ianto's shoulder, latching his lips onto the fleshy lobe of Ianto's ear.

"Jack!" Ianto said exacerbated, "why, when you know we're not finished here, do you try to distract me in anyway possible?"

"Because it amuses me! Let's me see what you can put up with, and how long it takes before you give in or get angry. And it's a very good foreplay tool, for later when I get my reward."

"There is no reward! We talked about this."

"Okay then, when you collect your reward for what you've done to help out two friends in love. My reward for you, for all your hard work."

Ianto smiled as he continued to wash the glassware. Jack's hands stayed his hips, and his lips moved down to his neck. Jack had applied slight forward pressure with his groin so Ianto was literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. Ianto was enjoying the idea of Jack's reward, but also the snatch of domesticity this evening was creating. He'd never ask Jack for more, but it was nice to know it could happen, even once.

"So now it's my reward? Do I get a say how the reward gets played out? Personal preference?"

"Oh yes, but we can't talk about it here," Jack suctioned his lips hard enough on Ianto's neck to cause blood to rush to the surface of the skin, but not enough to bruise, "we can discuss this later. When we're less busy working as waiters."

Jack removed all bodily contact from Ianto, stepping away to get a kitchen dishcloth to dry what Ianto had washed.

"So what's next? What do you need me to do next?"

"You could grab two plates so we can have something to eat. There's enough chicken and pasta in a separate dish in the oven for the two of us. If you could do that, then I'll have dessert ready to take out to them, when we're finished."

"Thank you!" Jack planted a kiss on Ianto's lips before getting the plates out of the cupboard.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"This is lovely Owen. Really tasty! You'll have to give me the recipe," said Tosh, forgetting for a moment Owen hadn't cooked their food.

Flustered, floundering for an answer, Owen choked on a piece of pasta, bringing tears to his eyes. He managed to dislodge the offending article, swallowing it down correctly, answering with a gasp, "I'll make sure you get it."

Unconscious concern urged Tosh to lay her hand on Owen's, "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just pasta that went down the wrong way."

Tears had filled his eyes, and he fought not to let them fall. She squeezed his hand again, relishing in the feel of his touch. Abandoning his fork, Owen placed his other hand over Tosh's.

"I like this. The feel of your hand against mine. Soft as silk and just as delicate."

He turned her hand over, cupping it in one hand and stroking a finger along the lines of her palm. He knew what he was working towards. Knew what he'd planned to say and threw it out of the window. His heart railed against the words his head had prepared, preferring to speak for itself.

"Iloveyou," he exclaimed in a rush. His heart notched up a gear, knowing it was beating for Tosh. He knew the love it held inside was for using on someone, and it desperately wanted to use it on Toshiko.

The moment his words filled the air, her whole body froze. The hand he cradled went stiff. Her eyes widened in doubt, and held emotion in them –surprise, longing and guilt – before becoming emotionless.

The silence dragged on and on. Owen desperately wanted some acknowledgement of words he knew, deep down, he'd seldom uttered.

"Why?" she murmured, swiftly followed by, "why would you say that?"

Owen released her hands, at a loss because she didn't or couldn't believe his words.

Her knuckles hit the table with a clatter.

"Everything we've done. Everything we've experienced together, and all we've talked about, and you ask why I say I love you? That was what this whole evening was supposed to be about. All the secrets and food and organisation," Owen answered with disbelief, getting progressively louder until the volume of his voice almost verged on a shout.

Both Jack and Ianto heard the raised voice and popped their heads around the kitchen door. Concerned, Ianto stepped forward as he took in the scene in front of him – Owen stood with his hands planted on the table framing his plate, hunched over the table glaring at Tosh.

"Owen? Is everything-" Ianto was cut off by an angry growl.

"Get out! You and Jack go! This doesn't concern you."

"Tosh are you alright?" asked Ianto, ignoring Owen's angry demand.

She had a glazed, watery eyed expression on her face, but nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"We'll leave," said Jack quickly, conscious that both Owen and Tosh were hurting, but that they would only resolve it alone, "but remember what you were warned, about hurting her. Tosh? Ring if you need us."

Under protest and a firm grip on his arm, Ianto followed Jack back through the door.

"We can't leave her here, alone!"

"They have to work this out in their own way. She knows what to do if she needs a friend."

"I've never seen Owen so angry. He's never shouted like that."

"Freed of older habits, we'd all react differently. Let's go, and don't forget dessert." Quietly they left out of the back door, locking it behind them.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"This was all for you," Owen finished softly when he heard Jack and Ianto leave. Hurt laced his sentence. He slumped down into his chair, defeated, all the fight gone out of him.

"You can't tell me you love me because we can't have a future together," she stated simply.

"Says who Tosh? The only people involved in a future for us is us. We make our own future. If I say I love you then I love you. You can't tell me different."

"You know, deep down, that one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe a year from now, that your memory will return. And regardless of my feelings or yours now, they will change once your memory recovers. You'll go back to being the old you, the one that barely acknowledged me. The guy that gets some kind of kick out of being a sarcastic cynic. Who is a loner and enjoys taking the piss out of Ianto because he doesn't believe he is good enough to be in Torchwood.

Change is inevitable, and you will change. So I love you, but I know it can't and won't change who you are hidden behind the amnesia. If anything were to seriously happen between us, you would never forgive me...or yourself."

Owen rounded the table to kneel in front of her.

"Is that really how you see me?"

"Yes."

"And you still fell for me, even though I never gave you the time of day?"

"Something like that."

"What do I have to do to prove to you? This is the real me!"

"I don't know if you can," she replied, eyes downcast.


	24. Chapter 24

Author Note: Just before you read the next chapter I feel that I should stick a disclaimer in, basically stating that this whole chapter is a pretty explicit sex scene. If you aren't into that kind of thing, you can get away with not reading it, and continue with chapter 25 when it's ready. Hope you enjoy.

Finally thank you to everyone that has reviewed and favourited this story so far. I hope I've done this chapter justice!

Chapter 24

Owen didn't have any more conversation in him. He didn't know what else he could say to persuade her that he loved her. How could he argue or reason with her when he knew she was probably right? Collapsed on his knees in front of her Owen thought about animals got the attention of their owners? They freely gave its owner its love and affection through touch, preening and winding around the owners legs. Instinct had Owen reaching his palm up to cup her face, using the pad of his thumb to wipe an errant teardrop of water that had escaped one of her eyes, as it trailed down her cheek.

Stroking his palm along her jawbone and down the line of her neck, he kneeled high on his knees, his other hand resting on her knee to keep his balance. He progressed into soft kisses on her lower lip, in-between stroking his nose gently over her cheeks. Dropping light kisses, soft as a butterfly over her brow and eyelids when they slid closed.

The hand on her thigh slid up towards her hip, and he shuffled closer on his knees, forcing her to slowly spread her legs, which she did, almost desperate for more of his touch. Owen's lips settled back to her and he flicked his tongue against her lips, requesting entrance that she freely admitted. His tongue swept into the treasure trove of her hidden depths. She tasted of spice from the pasta sauce she'd consumed. At no point did she consider stopping Owen, even after everything she'd just said. He overwhelmed her senses, just by being close.

He could feel his own reaction to just a heated kiss as his flesh strained against his nylon trousers. Owen released her mouth so he could suck in a breath, and looked at her aroused, lips swollen, pupils dilated, half hidden by lowered lashes. Her chest moved with an increased pace rising and falling.

"You are beautiful," he muttered without realising.

Tosh catalogued all she was feeling in one kiss – happiness, turned on, the lower half of her body on fire, begging to be touched, breasts felt tingly and strained against the expensive lace of her bra hidden under her dress. What she couldn't see was the flush that spread across her uncovered chest and up her neck.

Owen could feel a heat radiate out from between her thighs against his stomach. Without thought his hips rubbed provocatively against her. Pushing her dress high up her thighs so that she purred in satisfaction at the friction he created.

He licked his tongue around the scoop necked chest of the dress causing her to shiver in expectation. He secured his hands over her buttocks, pulling her towards him, simultaneously closer to the edge of the chair, and his burgeoning erection.

Her hands grew restless, aching to touch him, and her mind only focussed on the sensations he was producing.

Hesitantly her fingers weaved through his partially gelled hair, pulling his head up to her mouth. One of his hands went to the zipper at the back of her dress, slowly pulling it down to the small of her back. Without missing a beat, or separating their kissing lips, Tosh shimmied the arms of the dress away from her back and shoulders, exposing them and her lace covered breasts. The material lay bunched around her middle as Owen's mouth descended on exposed flesh. Kisses traced over bony prominences and trails of muscle fibres beneath delicate skin. She pushed herself forward to Owen's almost frantic lips. Tosh moaned as his hot breath fanned over one silken nipple before Owen's mouth come down and engulfed the engorged sensitive tissue.

She pulled her hands to tug his jacket down in an attempt to halt his caressing fingers by trapping his arms in the jacket, but he sensed her intent and quickly found an escape route. Undeterred Tosh worked her fingers down his shirt buttons opening them in sequence. She hadn't gotten up to untying his tie, so his shirt hung open, secured at his neck, even as she pulled hard to free the shirt material from his trousers.

"Why are we doing this when we know we shouldn't!" murmured Tosh, as her fingers scraped over his nipples, eliciting a moan from deep in his chest, his nipples responding.

"Because you want me and you can't deny it. And I want you, more than you can imagine. We need this."

"You should persuade me more!" Her eyes closed as she muttered the statement, too full of passion to think about denying him. It would almost be rude seeing as how they were both partially naked already.

Owen shifted her to the very edge of the chair, yanking the bottom of her dress up, over the crux of her thighs. Moving her arms, he used his strength to move her into a supine position, his arms wrapped around her thighs. A hand stroked the inside of one thigh, and she released a groan of pleasure. His thumb and fingers wandered over the lacy of her panties, drawing random pattern of sensation.

Lips grazed the soft, sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh and she felt an echoing cry from deep inside, crying out for him to join with her. His lips nuzzled the apex where the lace lay, and soft dark curls slipping his tongue out between her lips every now and then.

Hot and flustered, Tosh called out for Owen to do something to ease the feelings building up inside her.

"Please, Owen-"

He obliged by removing his hands, so he could access the lacy silk holding her wetness. She cried out at the loss she felt as his hands and lips abandoned her for the merest of seconds, before moaning with approval as he returned, showing her how much he wanted her.

He used his tongue to imitate the act itself creating a tenuous rhythm over her pleasure centre. Her breathing became shallow and swift, exerting her as her thigh muscles clenched from the bursts of sensation arrowing from her groin to every corner of her body. Her thighs squeezed hard around Owen's arms and head as his tongue found its ultimate goal. Her head and shoulders shot upwards from the chair, a shout of satisfaction and feeling as his tongue hit its rhythm.

She had to focus herself, gather enough energy to stop Owen before she came. She wanted him insider her, not just his mouth and tongue.

"Owen-no!" His head shot up, an expression of bewilderment on his face.

"Seriously?" his hands slowly withdrawing their hold of her thighs, disbelief written all over his face.

"Not like this. I want our first orgasm to be the two of us, joined. Don't leave me alone in this."

Owen didn't need telling twice.

As romantic as he'd wanted this to be, he was desperate to complete what they'd started. Pulling himself away he quickly shed his trousers and underwear. His hand moved to untie the complicated knot at his throat but Tosh stopped him.

"Keep it on. I like it."

Owen didn't feel he was capable of moving them both to the couch, or to her bedroom. So he pulled her off the chair and sat himself in her place. Next he pulled on her hips, guiding her to sit facing him in his lap. Her feet just touched the floor.

He opened his right palm, and there sat a foil square he'd rescued from his trousers before he'd discarded them.

"Will you?" he asked.

Her lower body tightened and grew wetter as she fumbled and fought against foil to place the rubber where it needed to go. Owen's eyes and head rolled back when her petite hands surrounded him kneading his flesh. Running out of control he lifted her up and plunged home into her tight moist sheath.

Each person moaned audibly at the connection until she felt his hilt at her opening. She started to move, just a fraction at first then larger increments until she was slickly sliding up and down his length.

"You feel so good," groaned Owen after she, quite literally fell down into his cock. Hands roamed everywhere on the wings of open mouthed kisses and licking, nipping and sucking all the flesh they could reach. Tosh created a rhythm tormenting them both; slow long strokes and fast short ones. They both built and built until, in a crescendo they fell from their cloud of sensation.

Toshiko collapsed over Owen. Owen's head fell back hitting the back of the dining room chair unnoticed. It was long moments before either of them had enough energy to move even a finger.

"Well-," said Tosh, her breathing still unsteady.

"Was that okay?" said Owen, a little anxious to find out if she'd found her fulfilment. He hid his face in the curve of her neck.

"You even have to ask?" she replied, meeting his gaze.

"So clearly I _can _remember," Owen replied, slightly smug.

She smacked him lightly in the shoulder, the movement causing her laced breasts to jiggle. This action zeroed both their gazes to their current position and state of undress.

"We should put some clothes on," Tosh was overcome with embarrassment, making a move to lift herself from Owen's lap in an attempt to locate her clothes, crumpled around her waist.

"If we're going to do anything, then it'll be to do that again, in the comfort of a bed this time."

He stood up from the chair, holding Tosh tightly, wrapping her legs around his back, crossing her ankles in the small of his back. Shocked at Owen's attitude and the sensations caused by her position as Owen carried her, Tosh couldn't speak.

"Bed?"

All she could do was point. Owen had asked her permission, not the direction of the room, but with her showing no sign of refusal Owen walked quickly and awkwardly to her bedroom.

He hadn't even kicked off his shoes in his haste to remove his clothing, so he didn't injure his foot as he kicked her door open, then closed.

Owen almost unbalanced them both as he tried to kick the door closed behind him. He had to hike Tosh higher in his grip, making them both jump as their hypersensitive skin jolted against them.

Shuddering Owen threw himself on the bed, arse first, bouncing, protecting Tosh from the majority of the impact. Tosh slid, rolling her pelvis over his renewing hardness as they hit the bed together. Invigorated by the short journey to the bedroom and her continued dominant position, Tosh enforced control.

Second round, and Owen enjoyed a difference of position, the comfort of a soft mattress beneath them and the variety a chair just didn't offer. Their second mating was less frantic than the first, but just as satisfying.

Afterwards they lay together, Tosh settled across Owen's chest, his arm around her back. His heartbeat beating beneath her ear.

"I do love you," said Owen softly, unsure if Tosh was asleep or not.

"I love you too," she replied with no hesitation, but a hint of sleepiness. Those words uttered, both feel into a deep slumber.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

It came back to him as he slept snuggled deep under the warmth of the duvet with Tosh. His arm curled possessively around her waist. For the first time since he'd woken up in the hospital bed, he felt totally relaxed and secure. A sense of belonging washed over him as it hadn't the first night they'd shared his bed. Tosh belonged in his arms.

As his mind became a tranquil haven, the wall that was the result of his injury melted away. His memories didn't assault him like they had on previous occasions. They told whole stories of his life, not jumbled fragments of events and they followed a timeline as events unfolded in his mind.

Owen's unconscious gently gave him his childhood – his mother always in the living room, but never being there for him. He was fed and clothed, but never hugged or had his forehead stroked after a bad dream or illness.

As he grew older, he began to question his single mother's reaction to his very presence.

"I love you, but that doesn't mean I have to like you."

He'd consoled his broken heart under his duvet for months. Salty wetness rained down his almost adult face every night, and the more he cried the more his heart froze to love. As the years passed, his cynicism towards women grew. He held his own mother up as a template for his own relationships. His mind twisted to its own mantra of "I like you, but not enough to love you."

College and medical school passed in a flurry of half hearted relationships, one night stands and flings, until he met Katie. His heart broke free of its mould as he got to know her. He loved Katie because she'd gotten under his skin. She'd made him care again, about love. She never played mind games, was always brutally honest and showered her love, even when he knew he didn't deserve it. Then she'd become ill, after he'd proposed and they'd booked the venue and picked the flowers. An alien being had stolen Katie and broke his newly mended heart.

In the same blow he'd been thrown into the dangerous, frightening world of Torchwood.

His first official day starting at his new job at Torchwood, after he'd given Katie's parents all her belongings and moved to Cardiff, he met the team led by Captain Jack Harkness – Susie and Toshiko.

His heart had shied away from Tosh, but his head had been attracted to Susie, involving them in a short, awkward few nights of passion, before going back to being just colleagues.

Tosh had tried to befriend him, but he'd scorned her, unwilling to be hurt again.

As more people joined the team over the years, he mellowed a little but was desperately lonely. He used the pheromone spray he'd acquired to keep a warm body in his bed, or theirs, at least for a short time.

Tosh was always around whenever he needed someone, but he tried devoutly not to, until Diane.

Strong, capable and only looking for a passing flirtation, Diane attracted Owen, but again he fell hard for her in the weeks they had together. Again his heart broke when she left him in an attempt to return to her own time. He felt his only option was to cause himself pain, to see if it made any difference.

Every night he'd go out looking for a fight, and one night during a Torchwood investigation he found what he'd been searching for. Weevil Vs. Man.

Stepping into the cage Owen felt fear tainted with a longing for death. Since Katie he'd felt he wasn't good enough for love, still haemorrhaging from his mother's hurtful words all those years ago. He believed his heart couldn't take another battering.

That night he'd nearly died, and he gained a new respect for life.

Then came the night of the accident that had landed him in hospital. His mind had focussed on his new life, post injury, where everything was simpler. There was no cynicism, no hurt, loneliness or heart aching. If he'd believed in magic, he would have said that Toshiko had soothed his soul, as he'd lain in the hospital bed. Her warm reassuring touch and gentle words adding balm to his wound.

But the return of his memories meant that he hated her again, because she was too good for him, not an easy lay and very likely to hurt him.

And so he continued to sleep, unaware and unknowing.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Owen slept late the next morning, and when he opened his eyes he knew Tosh wasn't there, but he still reached for her. She'd always been an early riser, he thought.

Then he remembered – his past! What the hell had he been thinking? He immediately started to panic. 'I shouldn't be here. I need to leave now! She loves me, and we slept together! ' Though he conveniently forgot he'd also declared his love for her.

He hastily located his clothing, jamming his feet into the trouser legs. Throwing his shirt on, he neglected to do up the buttons.

TWTWTWTWTWTW

Tosh stood by the kitchen sink, waiting for the kettle to boil, reliving the memories from last night. Even just thinking about it made her feel hot all over again. She smiled nostalgically to herself. Maybe things were looking up, and they would be alright after all.

She heard noise coming from the bedroom, so pulled a second mug from the cupboard. She needn't have bothered as the bedroom door flung open and Owen, barely dressed with bed head literally ran out. He hopped around in an attempt to put on his shoes.

"Leaving so soon?" she quipped with an ironic eyebrow and seductive smile.

"How could you?" he demanded. Without letting her answer he blazed on, "How could you let me sleep with you? Wasn't it enough to have my full undivided attention for weeks on end? For me to get you off and for us to sleep in the same bed? You thought the way I treated you before the head injury was so bad, you should listen now. I hate you! I was in a vulnerable position and you smothered me. Made me weak and start to care. This? You and me? Can never happen! I'm broken enough without adding another victim to the list."

He rounded on her, stepping towards her with every sentence, until he had her cornered against the kitchen units.

"Forget me! Forget all this ever happened. Go back to being the brainy geek who sits quietly in the corner of the room, head in a book, and I'll go back to being the ungenerous womanising idiot I've always been."

Then he stormed out, leaving Tosh startled, slightly afraid and absolutely devastated.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Owen had no idea how he'd get back to his flat. He had no transport, no keys and no money. The only option left open to him was to walk the 4.5 mile journey in uncomfortable dress shoes.

He huffed and puffed his frustration as he walked around the streets of Cardiff. He gloried at the return of his memory. He grimaced at the blisters forming on his heels and the ache in both his soles. He hated Ianto and Jack for helping orchestrate such a ridiculous idea! Owen continued to curse all three of them under his breath with each step he took.

Owen walked the scenic round, needing the additional exercise to help vent his anger. His insides clenched tightly, and had been doing so since he'd left the apartment. The small part of Owen that had remained cynicism free was causing a guilt reaction, trying to remind him of his feelings for Tosh.

Arriving at his apartment he located the landlord and got him to open the flat. The landlord was hesitant because of Owen's state of dress and the fact that he'd had no idea who he was. Owen was barely there during the day, so had never become a familiar face.

The moment the door closed behind him, Owen fled to his bedroom. He proceeded to bury himself in his duvet that regretfully smelled a little of Tosh. Owen willed himself to be a man, but he cried anyway. His fragile heart had taken yet another beating.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Upon Owen's outburst and sudden desertion Tosh broke down, sinking to her knees against the kitchen cupboards. She struggled to breath and could only make out hazy shadows of objects through the tears pouring down her face. She was paralysed with emotion, feeling so empty.

Minutes of being curled up on the cold hardwood floor led to an hour, as she tried to sort through what she was feeling.

Exhausted, and having ran out of tears, Tosh crawled to her bag in the living room, digging around for her mobile phone. She wished she had Ianto on speed dial as her hands refused to stop shaking, making it difficult to find his number. She eventually found the number and waited anxiously as it rang four times before he answered.

"Tosh?" Ianto answered hurriedly, "Are you okay?"

She had an overwhelming urge to break into tears once more. Holding herself together she said, "Please. Come," before her voice crackled from the strain of keeping her emotions under wrap. It was all Ianto needed to jump into action.

"I'm on my way!"

A record ten minutes later Ianto burst through her front door, with Jack following behind. Seeing Tosh curled up at the foot of the couch, Ianto ran to her, his hands feeling her arms, legs and checking her face for any sign of physical damage.

"Where did he hit you?" Where does it hurt?"

Confusion then shock marked her face as she backpedalled, defending Owen.

"He didn't touch me. Not in violence. I think his memory came back." Ianto's hands stilled.

"You slept with him?" Ianto asked cautiously.

"What's the relevance?" she snapped.

"His memories may have asserted themselves...post-coitally," said Jack, mindful of her feelings.

"You mean-"

"Sleeping with you may have led to his memory return."

"How could I have given in to my baser instincts when I knew this would happen? I've known it all along, but I still let myself be seduced."

"I'm sorry Tosh. Part of this is our fault for pushing him to realise his feelings for you. And for helping organise last night."

Resigned, Tosh pulled herself onto the couch, pulling her knees to her chest. Until that moment she'd forgotten she only wore underwear and her dressing gown. She couldn't find the energy to be embarrassed.

"I'll make some tea shall I?" queried Jack.

"I was making coffee when he-" tears she thought had dried up resurfaced and she broke down again.

Ianto moved in to console her, but Jack laid a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Who gives the better hugs? And who doesn't poison people with water?"

Ianto reluctantly nodded in agreement, and walked into the kitchen. Jack settled himself on the couch and opened his arms. It was the only invitation she needed as she launched herself at his chest.

Jack omphed as he wrapped his arms around her fragile frame. He tried to comfort her by uttering nonsensical gibberish, adding a soft rocking motion every now and again. He flattened his cheek on the crown of her head watching Ianto work. The kettle boiled and her weeping gradually gentled.

When Ianto brought the drinks over, he placed himself on the coffee table opposite them.

Jack's head rose, allowing Tosh to raise hers. Ianto thought she looked beautiful, despite her swollen eyes, pouty lips and rouged cheeks.

"Can you tell us?" prompted Jack.

Calmer now, Tosh explained, brokenly the events last night after they'd left and this morning.

"He said what?" Ianto was unbelievably shocked. Before the accident he and Owen had tolerated each other, but Ianto had never dreamed he could be so cruel.

Totally drained after explaining and answering questions, Tosh's eyes started to drop as Jack's body warmth and occasional arm strokes lulled her to sleep.

Quickly and quietly Ianto stripped her bed, throwing on fresh bedding. Jack carried her to the freshly made bed, tucking her in. She tried to stir for a minute saying "But what about the Hub?"

"Don't you worry about that. You just go to sleep. Everything will be okay." Typical Tosh to think about something like that, thought Jack.

They'd called Gwen in, just after Toshiko had called Ianto, though Jack still had the remote rift monitor with him just in case.

"What are we going to do?" asked Ianto as they exited her bedroom.

"We need to see Owen."

"I'll get my stuff," answered Ianto, referring to the first aid kit he'd dragged from the car.

"No. Toshiko needs you here now. She rang you. You need to stay with her. Make sure she's comfortable and sleeps."

"What will you say to Owen? You threatened him last night."

"I don't know yet. We're going to sort this out."

"I love you, so much. Thanks for all the help with Tosh."

"I love her just as much as you do. But I love you more. See you later."

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Jack drove to Owen's and stormed up the stairs. He'd worked on a good speech on the drive over that had gotten his blood pumping. He was raring for a fight.

Looking back on the whole Owen and Toshiko saga, they'd all expected this in some form or another, but none of them had wanted to believe it would happen.

Jack used his spare key to open the flat. There was no sign of Owen that he could see. No shoes lying around discarded, or jacket and tie on the sofa from last night's outfit. Knowing Owen to be somewhat untidy, Jack wondered if Owen had actually come home, or gone out on the piss to drown his sorrows; then he heard a whimper.

The whimper was faint coming from the direction of the closed bedroom door. Intrigued and simultaneously concerned, Jack softly opened the door, pushing it open silently.

In the centre of the bed was a huddled, Owen shaped duvet mound. The mound quivered and whimpered a second time. Jack was without a doubt who lay beneath. All the anger he'd worked up drained away, leaving only regret and sorrow for two of his team, his self made family.

Noiselessly he tread the carpet until he sat on the bed, causing Owen to squeak in an unmanly fashion.

"It's okay Owen. It's just Jack."

Slowly so as not to alarm the poor man, Jack pulled the duvet off Owen's body.

Owen lay in the foetal position, one arm around his bent knees, one clutching the duvet over his head. He cried all the more for seeing Jack.

"Leave me alone," Owen groaned out half heartedly, curling tighter into his ball.

"I can't do that. Do you remember what I said to you before Ianto and I left last night?"

"I remember."

"Then you should also remember what you said to Toshiko this morning. You hurt her, and I'm here to deal with it," Jack threatened softly, "so tell me your version of events, before I get to whooping your ass."

Owen tried to stop his tears, hiccupping loudly. He raised his head at being threatened, relaxing his arms in the process.

"I got my memory back."

"I know. Toshiko told us, after she called Ianto and burst into tears in her living room. What the hell happened Owen?"

"Something happened last night. I had my old memories back when I woke up this morning. I can't be with her! I can't go through it again. We have to forget what happened, what's been happening for weeks and go back to what we were before."

"You're all kinds of stupid, but I didn't think you were cruel."

"It was the only way."

"There are plenty of ways to effectively dump someone that don't involve insults and name calling."

"I had to leave! Last night was how it should have been, not quite how I'd pictured it though. But one day she'll die or leave me and I'll be broken again. It'll be easier this way."

"But you still have to work together."

"We'll still be colleagues."

"I don't think she'll be able to come back to work if you're there. She's devastated. She loves you, and now she's going to have to claw herself back from it, to enable her to function. You've had her heart for almost four years, and now it is broken. Ripped to pieces by your callous, selfish behaviour."

Owen got angry and sat up in bed.

"Selfish? You have no idea about my life and what I've been through. To have a mother who doesn't, can't love you. To have a woman die, leaving you alone, then another leave you for the past. You have no idea how I feel. I have to protect myself, or there'll be nothing left of me. I love Tosh, but something will happen and I'll be all alone again. I can't risk it!"

Jack closed his eyes, and grieved for Owen's losses, at his own losses. He knew better than most that people left. Jack had Ianto now, but he knew it was only a matter of time before he himself would be alone again. The mortal form was so fragile.

"We have to accept the love we're given. For however long it lasts. Love is getting rarer in the world, and we need to fight to keep it alive. How can you ever come back to work knowing she loves you, and you won't let her?"

"How do you love Ianto, keep him safe, even when he's out in the field? How do you trust him not to get injured or die? How can you stand it?"

"Blind faith and trust in his ability to look after himself. Nobody's foolproof, and you could get knocked over by a bus or eaten by aliens tomorrow. Neither would be your fault."

Owen had calmed considerably since he woke earlier and was starting to think logically about the whole mess he'd gotten himself into. If he'd just taken a step back, maybe it could have been avoided.

"Take what she offers, if you say you love her, and cherish it. Show her what she means to you everyday, and you'll know you tried your best. And if the worst does happen, then in her last moments she'll know what she meant to you."

"What do I need to do?"

"For starters," Jack smacked Owen around the back of the head, "that's for hurting her this morning."

"Oww."

"Told you I'd hurt you! Next you need to get changed and shower. She's sleeping now, but should be awake in a couple of hours. I'll get Ianto to update us. Finally, you need to plan how you're going to put this right."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Toshiko slept the sleep of the dead for over five hours. Emotional turmoil had sapped her dry. Ianto kept a vigil at her bedside, in case she woke.

When she did, Ianto rang Jack and told him to give them an hour for Tosh to get dressed.

She felt better. Her headache had subsided, and the stinging behind her eyes had gone away. Since waking, her eyes had remained dry. Ianto had kept conversation light and chatted away about the weather and the latest gossip the tabloids.

He'd cleared the remnants of the meal last night, righting her flat back to what it once was. No trace of last night remained. Upon Jack's suggestion, Ianto didn't mention Jack and Owen's timely visit until the last minute. He didn't want to take the chance she might back out, or refuse to open the front door to them. She looked rested, but he caught a hint of sadness in her face every now and then.

Tosh went to shower, which gave Ianto the opportunity to quietly open the front door, admitting Jack and Owen. They seated themselves, waiting apprehensively.

Ianto let himself into Tosh's bedroom, readying the little speech he had for her. She wandered out of the bathroom, one towel wrapped like a turban around her head, the other tied just under one armpit enfolding the length of her body to mid shin.

Glancing at Ianto, she grabbed some clothes and scurried back into the bathroom. Ianto continued to wait patiently for her to emerge fully clothed.

"Ianto?" she said quizzically, "why are you waiting for me?"

"I need to talk to you, before we go outside."

Toshiko raised an eyebrow and he continued.

"Jack went to speak to Owen earlier, when you were asleep."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because they're in the living room. Before you say anything – I know you're hurt, but I think you should hear him out, even if you ask him to leave afterwards."

"I've always given him the benefit of the doubt, since he first came to work for Jack. Why should I now? I can't do it. He needs to leave and go back to whatever hole he dragged himself from to be here. I can't face him," she ranted overly loudly.

Suddenly the bedroom door swung open and Owen stood in the doorway. When they'd heard raised voices from the bedroom, Owen had moved towards the door to better hear what was being said.

Things were not going to plan, thought Ianto, as he saw the same and anger on Owen's face.

"Give us a minute," demanded Owen to Ianto.

"Not this time," Ianto replied, "you did enough last night. I don't trust you not to hurt her again."

"Fine!" spat Owen, "we'll do this in public."

Jack loomed in Owen's shadow. Owen's shame tinged with anger reddened his cheeks. His eyes shone brightly.

"I'm a dick! We all know it. I have been for years. What you don't know is why! It's something I've had to do, a defence mechanism. A protective shell. Being a dick, especially to women helps to keep women like you at bay. It's supposed to make you dislike me, not fall in love with me!

As much as I've given you stick since I've been here, I did notice you, as more than a science geek. But I wasn't emotionally available or willing to put my head on the chopping board so close after Katie's death. I've always liked you, but the amnesia helped to get to know you from the beginning. Something I would never have done, or had the opportunity to do, where it not for that blasted creature."

Owen sat on the edge of the bed looking up in to Tosh's face. His voice gentled.

"Those words I said this morning were me lashing out at a situation I had no control over. I didn't mean them, and I'm sorry they were aimed at you!"

"Sorry doesn't make the hurt any less painful," whispered Toshiko as her knees gave way to join him on the bed.

Ianto and Jack felt like intruders on this rather personal conversation, but they didn't want to leave Tosh alone, just in case. It appeared Owen's speech had gotten through to Tosh, and they only had eyes for each other, as they seemed to have forgotten Jack and Ianto's existence.

"I know, but I want a chance to sort this out. To make amends and do this the right way. I want the chance to love you, and for you to love me in return. Do you think there's a possibility you'd let me?" he pleaded contritely.

"I don't know. After last night, I thought I'd cast aside caution to be with you, then you go off the rails because your memory came back. How can I trust you won't have a second change of heart?"

"Blind faith, and the knowledge that I love you, and have for almost two years. It's just taken me this long to realise it."

Owen daren't touch her. He opened his heart, put it on the line, and just crossed his fingers.

"We'd have to see how things went. Take everything slowly."

Jack quietly high fived Ianto's palm as they retreated out into the living room.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**6 MONTHS LATER**

"Stop it. Please stop it!" laughed Toshiko, batting at his hands futilely.

Owen had a hard time keeping his hands to himself when she was near him. Even if it meant just touching her hand or arm absently. Presently he was amusing himself by tickling her tender spots that he'd gotten to know.

It was one of those slow days, a time to catch up on outstanding paperwork, but he was tired of looking at paperwork.

Amusing them both, Owen was happy. He reflected on the last six months, and so many changes had taken place.

Gwen had married Rhys. Jack and Ianto had moved in with each other into an apartment close to the Hub, and were looking at organising a Civil Partnership sometime in the New Year.

As for himself, Owen had proposed that he and Toshiko move in together. Things had been going well, but he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. Living together solved that.

Both Tosh and Owen had taken things slowly. A few dates, getting to know more about each other. Slowly Toshiko came out of her shell at work, wearing more fitted clothing that caused Owen to lose track of sentences and moments of his day, while she accidently seduced him.

His own behaviour towards others and his general personality changed over time too.

Owen became less abrasive, but maintained his sharp wit. He spoke with more passion and less cynicism about everything, and everyday his heart put itself back together, filling him with terrific feelings.

Owen also stopped provoking Ianto. They'd become more like friends than colleagues, especially as Owen owed Ianto for helping him out.

Life still had its trials and tribulations, and the work they did never got any less life threatening, but they both learned to trust themselves and each other again. Life was almost perfect. As perfect as it could be when you worked for Torchwood.

_**Thank you to everyone that has read this story and reviewed it. Your comments have given me the much needed motivation to finish this story. It's been 18 months in the making and I am very happy with it, especially as Tosh and Owen love stories are hard to come by. I hope you've all enjoyed it. Lady Jane –x-**_


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